Saturday, July 12, 2008

Learning Curve: Memes and the ABCs of MeMe.

Wow--I'm really speeding along the whole blogging learning curve. A few weeks ago, I was barely posting on my own site. Now, I'm contributing to LA Moms Blog. A few weeks ago, I had no idea the thing called BlogHer even existed. Now, I'm going to the big BlogHer Conference in SF. (Which, I am sure, will result in some more, well, blogging, on my part!). I've learned about blogrolls, technorati tags, and today--memes (pronounced "meem")--although really, it's the bloggers' definition of meme, not the "real" philosophical meaning of meme. We're not talking Richard Dawkins's memetics.

Anyhow, I saw an A-B-C meme today, so I decided to spread the wealth. You, too can write all about yourself in A-B-C form--go for it. Comment below with a link to your own A-B-Cs. As for me, (or me me), you know how I love these little exercises in narcissism.

So, here are my ABCs of MeMe:

A=Ass. Mine is bigger and spongier than I'd like, although, of course, I do love my body just as it is. (Ha)! Also for ADD, which I discovered as an Adult that I suffer from (along with split infinitives and dangling prepositions).

B=Bellvue. Where I feel I'm headed at the end of a long day with overtired, cranky and all-round ornery kids. Also for Bickering--which is what my kids do when they are overtired, cranky and all-round ornery. Finally for Bitch--which I become at the end of a long day with overtired, cranky and all-round ornery kids.

C=Chocolate. Preferably dark. The true love of my life. It rarely disappoints. Although I do think Hershey's kisses taste like vomit, and Hershey's milk chocolate tastes like somebody burned the milk.

D= Darling Daughter. 9 going on 13. Comes complete with eyerolling, artistic ability and an intelligence that far surpasses mine. Also Dogs--I have and I love.

E=Easy. Nothing in my life worth having has ever come easy. Unfortunately.

F=Fuck. Not the act--the word. Now that I have kids, I miss being able to curse like a sailor. Don't know where I picked it up, as my parents were the antithesis of cursers. I've just always liked it. Maybe that's why I initially became a litigator. They curse--a lot. . .F also stands for--Forty and over. Sigh.

G=Good Girl. What I was (mostly) when I was growing up. Despite what my parents think. (If they only knew what everyone else was doing). . .Bad girl didn't happen until I left home. Also, Genius--what my husband and kids are. Really.

H=Hell. What practicing law was for me. Also for Hair--which I love to change (cut and color) as often as I can, much to the annoyance of my third H, otherwise known as Husband. Also, Hypochondriac. Woody Allen's got nuttin' on me.

I=Infertility. It sucks.

J=Jokes. I am the world's WORST joke teller. Can't remember one entire joke to save my life (except for one old knock-knock joke and one nun-in-a-blender joke from my childhood). I love humor, though. Make me laugh, and I 'm yours. Well, If I weren't already married.

K=Krispy Kreme doughnuts. I grew up on them before they franchised themelves to death. Nothing like an early Sunday morning with a piping hot glazed doughnut straight out of the oven.

L=Late Bloomer. See entry at "G" above. I was also a late bloomer in many other ways. Probably still am. Also stands for Los Angeles=where I Live now.

M=Mother--one of the few things in life I knew for certain I always wanted to be. I also have one, in case you're wondering. Can also stand for Messy--which I have always been, and am afraid always will be.

N=Nice. It's nice to be nice. But it gets boring being called nice all the time. Also--Nose. Is anyone actually ever happy with his or hers? Finally, it stands for Nap--one of my all-time favorite things to do. (See "Y" below).

O=Orion, the only constellation I can pick out in the night sky. Thank goodness for his belt. (And no, I can't even pick out the Big or Little Dippers). Also for Orgasm. They're pleasant, aren't they?

P=PMS. I wish I didn't suffer from it (although don't accuse me of it, or I'll bite your head off). Also, Perimenopause--when PMS gets worse.

Q=Queen-size bed. I much prefer the East Coast King to a Queen, although my first real "grown-up" bed was a Queen.

R=Reading. My other passion and best companion since, well, forever.

S=Sweet. The word applied to me in just about every yearbook entry from middle school on up. "You're a sweet girl." "Stay sweet." Gag. But that was probably because I was horrifically Shy as a kid. So what else would someone have to write about me? It's not as if I talked to anyone. Also for Son--I have one of those, too, and a bigger 6-year-old flirt you've never met. He's off-the-charts smart and a fine piano player, too.

T=Tea. I'm obsessed with it. I find it hard to end the day without a cuppa. Also Teeth--did you know I never had to have braces? I really longed for a retainer, though. I thought they were sex-ay.

U=U-Haul. I still have nightmares about moving out of dorm rooms and apartments. Also, University of Virginia, my undergrad alma mater. Otherwise known as Mr. Jefferson's Academical Village.

V=Values. Try raising your kids with good ones in LA. I dare you. Also, Vapid--which covers many a pretty face in LA. Finally, Virginia--my birthplace. (What, you thought I was going to tell you when I lost my virginity?--Fat effin' chance! My parents read this blog.)

W=Warm--the way I like my Weather and my bread. Also-War--which scares the shit out of me. Finally, Welsh Rarebit. I don't know why. It just popped into my head. I think I first heard of it on the Dick Van Dyke Show. (See R for Random).

X=X-ray? Xylophone? Who do you think I am--Dr. Suess??

Y=Yawn--which I do too frequently and which could also describe this meme.

Z=Zoos--are they ultimately cruel? Discuss amongst yourselves.

With that--I bid you Adieu.


Sarah said...

Hi Karen! Love the Meme! And I'm going to be a BlogHer as well AND I'm also going to be one of the LAMomsBlog contributors! Hope to meet up in SF. Email me if you want to connect.

Karen said...

Thanks Sarah--Listen, I'd love to connect via e-mail, but I need to actually have your e-mail address! Lookin forward to BlogHer and all that! Karen

Sarah said...

Here you go!

KTP said...

Add to your learning curve the idea of posting pics. I'd love to see what you look like! Oh, okay, maybe I'll wait until we LA Moms meet up...after BlogHer, which I will miss. Yes, I am jealous.

Karen said...

KTP, I will put up a picture--at least on the LA Moms blog bio page. I'm just waiting for my makeover and head shot at BlogHer! I haven't decided whether I'll put my pic up on Nouvelle Blogger or not. My husband is pretty private and prefers that I reveal as little identifying info as possible.. . .and somehow, whether it is true or not, I feel more exposed here than on LAMoms blog. . .we'll see.

Besides--I don't have any decent recent pics of me that are digital, and I don't have a freakin' scanner, so I can't download already printed ones.

I'll get one up soon. Hope you won't be regret your request!

Finally, thanks for reading and commenting. NOW, when are you going to do your own ABC meme? I think all the LA Moms Bloggers should do one before we meet up. It would be a blast.

Sorry I won't see you at BlogHer, but I'm sure we'll all get together very soon. Seems like an incredibly impressive and interesting group of women. Not quite sure how I fit in there. . .but hey . . .I'm not complaining. If nothing else, I am darn good at underachieving.