Nouvelle Blogger

I may turn into a book blogger yet....

2009-02-08T00:22:00.000-08:00

I am currently reading The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery, and I came across the following paragraphs that I just loved. So...I had to share them. Florinda--you are right--you may yet turn me into a book blogger!

"The cherry plum test is extraordinary for its disarming clarity. It derives its power from a universal observation: when man bites into the fruit, at last he understands. What does he understand? Everything. He understands how the human species, given only to survival, slowly matured and arrived one fine day at an intuition of pleasure, the vanity of all the artificial appetites that divert one from one's initial aspiration toward the virtues of simple and sublime things, the pointlessness of discourse, the slow and terrible degradation of multiple worlds from which no one can escape and, in spite of all that, the wonderful sweetness of the senses when they conspire to teach mankind pleasure and the terrifying beauty of Art.

The cherry plum test is held in my kitchen. I place the fruit and the book on the Formica table, and as I pick up the former to taste it, I also start on the latter. If each resists the powerful onslaught of the other, if the cherry plum fails to make me doubt the text and if the text is unable to spoil the fruit, then I know that I am in the presence of a worthwhile and, why not say it, exceptional undertaking, for there are very few works that have not dissolved--proven both ridiculous and complacent--into the extraordinary succulence of the little golden plums."

Ahhhh, I love food and so take great delight in the idea of measuring the worthiness of literature against the perfection of a single piece of fruit. Food and reading--two of my favorite things in the world. Brilliant, I say, just brilliant.

He's all boy....

2009-02-07T08:36:00.000-08:00

Any doubts I had about my son being raised in a very female-influenced household have now been laid to rest. To wit:

1. He just watched a video of a boy screaming for 30 seconds while said boy (not son) farts 5 times, then falls on the stairs. "Mom, this is so cool--you've got to see this...." Although he did watch it only 8 times in a row. (Gee, thanks iCarly.com).

2. While playing solo video games, he acts as his own announcer: "No one has ever defeated E_____; he steals right, then left...oh no, here comes the cheese. Hah!--E_____ is victorious again......" etc. etc. etc.

Tuesday Teasers on Thursday.

2009-02-05T18:32:00.000-08:00

Teaser Tuesdays, hosted at Should Be Reading, asks you to:

I'm sick, so no rebellious poetry or snarky comments. Just the quote, ma'am; just the quote.

"I wonder if it wouldn't be simpler just to teach children from the start that life is absurd. That might deprive you of a few good moments of your childhood but it would save you considerable time as an adult--not to mention the fact that you'd be spared at least one traumatic experience, i.e. the goldfish bowl." p. 23

From The Elegance of the Hedgehog, by Muriel Barbery.

Poem of the Day

2009-01-31T09:47:00.000-08:00

It's official: I am obsessed with the poetry of Mary Oliver. Here is the M.O. poem of the day--from Dream Work.

Members of the Tribe

Ahead of me
they were lighting their fires
in the dark forests
of death.

Should I name them?
Their names make a long branch of sound.

You know them.

~~~~

I know
death is the fascinating snake
under the leaves, sliding
and sliding; I know
the heart loves him too, can't
turn away, can't

break the spell. Everything

wants to enter the slow thickness,
aches to be peaceful finally and at any cost.

Wants to be stone.

~~~~~

That time
I wanted to die
somebody
was playing the piano
in the room with me.

It was Mozart.
It was Beethoven.
It was Bruckner.

In the kitchen
a man with one ear
was painting a flower.

~~~~

Later,
in the asylum,
I began to pick through the red rivers
of confusion;

I began to take apart
the deep stitches
of nightmares.

This was good, human work.

This had nothing to do with laying down a path of words
that could throttle,
or soften,
the human heart.

Meanwhile,
Yeats, in love and anger,
stood beside his fallen friends;
Whitman kept falling
through the sleeve of ego.

In the back fields,
beyond locked windows,
a young man who couldn't live long and knew it
was listening to a plain brown bird
that kept singing in the deep leaves,
that kept urging from him
some wild and careful words.
You know that
important and eloquent defense
of sanity.

~~~~

I forgive them
their unhappiness,
I forgive them
for walking out of the world.

But I don't forgive them
for turning their faces away,
for taking off their veils
and dancing for death--

for hurtling
toward oblivion
on the sharp blades
of their exquisite poems, saying:
this is the way.

~~~~

I was, of course, all that time
coming along
behind them, and listening
for advice.

~~~~

And the man who merely
washed Michelangelo's brushes, kneeling
on the damp bricks, staring
every day at the colors pouring out of them,

lived to be a hundred years old.

Tuesday Teasers on Friday--Yes, Late Again

2009-01-30T15:27:00.000-08:00

In keeping with my recent rebellion against all rules and constraints, I bring you not just Tuesday Teasers on a Friday--but I bring you poetry--in the form of a whole damn poem.

Teaser Tuesdays, hosted at Should Be Reading, asks you to:

I'm currently in between books, more or less (I have more partially read books laying around my house than surfaces to put them on. I'd like to think it's just that I've become more discriminating and don't want to waste my precious time reading stuff I don't enjoy, but really--I think I've just completely lost all focus--for reading and just about everything else.)

Last week, I accidentally came across a couple of poems by Mary Oliver (of whom I had not heard, despite the fact that she has won a Pulitzer Prize and National Book Award), and I was very moved. I am not a big poetry reader--I'm just too linear, I suspect, and that makes me impatient with what I perceive as the inaccessibility of some poetry--The Wasteland, excepted, of course. However, I so loved and related to the poems I read, I immediately ordered not one, not two, but three volumes of Mary Oliver's poetry. I can't ever remember buying even a single volume of poetry, outside of class requirements. (Oh, once I bought some Rilke, because I was trying to track down, unsuccessfully I might add, a poem I had heard quoted....). This week's poem is from Mary Oliver's, Dreamwork.

Anyway, here's your dose of poetry. Now sit back and take your medicine like a good girl/boy. It's really NOT that bad:

WILD GEESE

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting--
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

p. 14

2009-01-27T23:06:00.000-08:00

As I am sure has become painfully clear, I have had a hard time mustering the requisite motivation to write of late. Too long a story to go into why--but I assume some time in the next few months, my output will pick up. At least I hope so...

In the meantime, and luckily, I have others who can fill in for me periodically. This week, it's my son. Each week in his First Grade class at school one lucky student is picked to write "This Week's News." Last week it was my son's turn. So I will let him tell you about his week in his own words. Oh, and don't worry, I have ensured that he retains all copyrights in his material. I would never deprive my son of a livelihood. (Snort).

And now, may I present......

This Weeks News by E______.

It was Miss B____'s birthday on Monday. We celebrated R______'s half birthday yesterday which is tomorrow. We did a science experiment called Will It Float? Some things did and some things didn't. This weekend we had a long weekend, Saturday, Sunday and Monday. For the past two days it's been raining so we get to have lunch inside because of rainy day schedule. Usually we have morning work in the morning, but this morning we had DEAR, Drop Everything And Read.

We had two Mad Minutes in a row and also Ms. S said we are going to have subtraction instead of addition. Everyone should be finishing their handwriting books very soon. Yesterday we had P.E. at 10:35 instead of 11:45 because of our rainy day schedule. In P.E. you have to wear sport shoes, but if you don't and wear Uggs you have to sit out or walk during P.E. time. We had an excellent week.

I hope you all have an excellent week, too! Buh-Bye.

LA Inauguration coverage

2009-01-20T01:35:00.000-08:00

Despite my near absence from the blog world of late (I seem to blog in spurts....it's just been a tough winter folks....), and in the spirit of a new era of hope and cooperation, I will be blogging and/or tweeting (www.twitter.com-I'm Nouvelleblogger) live on January 20th from a bi-partisan, single gender and very plugged-in inauguration-watching party, sponsored by Jessica Gottlieb, Elizabeth Petersen and Quaker Oats.

As a staunch Democrat in a sea of Republican moms (apparently there will be a few of us brave Donkey souls attending....), I think I will find this event very......lively? Spirited? Engaging? Passionate? Enraging? Frustrating? Liberating? Tune in @ 9 am PST to find out...

And finally--to the truly public service portion of this post: Quaker is using the parties to spread the word about their "Start with Substance" campaign which runs from January 12 through February 28. By visiting http://www.startwithsubstance.com/ and entering the UPC from any Quaker hot cereal, you will be able to donate a bowl of nutritious oatmeal to Share our Strength. Quaker hopes to reach the goal of 1 million bowls. Quaker's "Start with Substance" Campaign, which encourages consumers to feed their families and "fuel it forward" to those less fortunate, gives American families an easy way to answer the call of the President-elect to help others in a time of need.

TTYL.

USAir Passengers and Pilot--Courage

2009-01-16T20:09:00.000-08:00

Extraordinary stories here--but do remind me never to travel in the company of Ms. Bruce....

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/17/nyregion/17flight.html?partner=permalink&exprod=permalink

Tuesday Teasers on Saturday...

2009-01-10T20:18:00.000-08:00

What can I tell you? I've been running late for everything this week. To make up for my tardiness, I will gift (ha!) you with quotes from two books. Better yet, both of the quotes will be whole damn paragraphs--just 'cause they're so damn well written. So there.....Better late than never

Teaser Tuesdays, hosted at Should Be Reading, asks you to:

The first promised paragraph is from a book of short stories, Sunstroke and Other Stories, by British author Tessa Hadley. She has a devastating way with words and with tone...

"Neither is exactly unhappy, but what has built up in them instead is a sense of surplus, of life unlived. Somewhere else, while they are absorbed in pushchairs and fish fingers and wiping bottoms, there must be another world of intense experiences for grown-ups. They feel as if, through their perpetual preoccupation with infantile things, they, too, have become infants; as if their adult selves were ripening and sweetening all in vain, wasted. You can see this sensual surplus in them. It glistens on their skin and in their eyes like cream rising to the top of the milk (though neither of them is fat: Rachel is tall and muscular, Janie slight and boyish, only her breasts rounded because she's breast-feeding). They half know this about themselves, how visibly they exude their sexual readiness. They know that they make a picture, spread out there under the trees in their summer dresses, with their brood gamobling around them." Page 5 (from the title story "Sunstroke").

The second is from a book called, inaptly enough, The Little Book, by Selden Edwards. Why inapt? The book is not little and it took 30 years for the author to write it. Little indeed. It is about a 47-year-old man in 1988 who is plunged back into turn of the century Vienna by an event he cannot immediately remember. Thus far (I'm only about 60 pages into it), the book is mesmerizing.

"Wheeler's mind raced, and then as if his grandmother's frail hand reached back to him one more time, he remembered her last words at the conclusion of the waltz a few days before, as they sat on the couch. 'You need to know-' she had said, catching her breath in short little gasps, then recapturing her composure. 'My life was very different from others. But-' She paused and looked down, as if distracted by a thought too complicated for words. 'Because of what I knew.' Then she looked up squarely into his eyes, as if trying to penetrate across time to the deepest recesses of collective history. 'You must know-' He remembered something in those strong eyes of hers. What she might have called ardor. She took his hands in hers and held them tightly. 'You must know this and remember this.' Wheeler felt something indescribable in her eyes and held them with his. 'That I was happy.'" page 109.

Check out my friend's giveaway....

2009-01-04T15:21:00.000-08:00

Chef Druck is at it again--check out her giveaway:

http://chefdruck.blogspot.com/2009/01/writer-mama-giveaway.html

Uncle Jay Explains 2008

2009-01-04T12:40:00.000-08:00

Will Someone Please Bite Off His Little Head?

2009-01-01T20:14:00.001-08:00

Does anyone else hate the Gummy Bear Song (in all its many incarnations) as much as I do? If I have to hear that insidiously contagious tune one more time (my son listens to it over and over and over), or view the chubby green guy shake his workman's smile-baring butt one more time I will pull out each and every one of the hairs on my head. Smash the computer.

Who thinks up this shit? Someone--please bite off the rest of his chewy little head (check out his ear--someone's already started nibbling)....end the agony, already.

Tuesday Teasers

2008-12-30T00:00:00.000-08:00

Teaser Tuesdays, hosted at Should Be Reading, asks you to:

This week's work is a beautifully written (and very short) novelization of the author's parents lives and their family secrets. Spare and devastating--I highly recommend this quick, but haunting read:

Memory by Phillipe Grimbert; translated from the French by Polly McLean:

"A woman who'd tucked a stray lock of hair back into her bun. Now she was just this broken doll, dragged along like a sack, her back bouncing on the pebbles of the path." p. 52.

Every parent's dream . . .or is it nightmare?

2008-12-15T19:45:00.000-08:00

You'll just have to turn your head sideways. I promise you it's worth it. Oh and make sure the sound is ON.

PSA

2008-12-15T12:11:00.000-08:00

Ladies (and probably gentlemen, too): Do not blow dry your hair when you are naked if you are using a brush with a very sharp pointy end. Your nipple will never be the same....

This public service announcement is brought to you courtesy of the "Duh School of Klutziness."

Words on Women and Strength

2008-12-11T21:15:00.000-08:00

I'm too depressed today to write. Just one of my periodic existential crises. It will eventually pass. The following, sent to me by one of my best friends (thanks Coop!), cheered me a bit, so I'll share it here (I also shared it on Facebook, if you must know).

Miscellania

2008-12-10T15:34:00.000-08:00

It's another shallow, yet busy day for me. So, in keeping with my renewed commitment to post more frequently, I am going to do just that. However, I can't promise it'll be deep. In fact, it'll be pretty durn shallow--as my entire day has been.

The World's Best Hot Chocolate:

Although I hestitate to call anything having to do with chocolate "shallow" (especially this--which is among the most intense chocolate experiences I've had in a couple of years), in the grand scheme of things--looking at the economy, the state of the world, corruption scandals and terrorist killings--it's pretty fucking shallow. But we all have to get a little pleasure somewhere, don't we??

So, if it's pleasure you are seeking (or at least pleasure of the chocolate variety), hie thee over to Chocolatt on the south side of Wilshire, a little east of Bundy. This Belgian chocolate shop has all sorts of ways to satisfy your chocolate jones, but by far my favorite is the store's intense hot chocolate. We're not talking your mom's hot cocoa. We're talking thick, hot, molten, melted, creamy, chocolate goodness like nothing you've ever tasted. (Although it's not as thick as the pudding-like consistency of Spanish hot chocolate). It truly is like drinking melted chocolate. With a lot of cream. My daughter and I are both pretty devoted chocoholics and neither of us could finish our small, extremely rich drinks. (They will make a less intense version for kids, but my daughter was having none of that--she wanted her chocolate straight up, thank you.) Never fear, however. You can bring home your cup of chocolately goodness, store it in the refrigerator (just watch how thick it becomes as it cools) and microwave it later.

A friend who introduced me to this little slice of heaven (or hell, depending upon your perspective on calories and fat.....) likes to take the decadence one step further. She gets the hot chocolate alongside a scoop of the shop's delectable homemade ice cream, dipping her spoon into one and then the other...Frankly, I don't even want to venture into that realm. I might never surface.

So check this place out on a day you need to warm up--or just be comforted.

New Nail Color:

Now we are truly entering the realm of the shallow. Another friend introduced me to the COOLEST nail color (I thought it was new, but upon further research, it appears the color has been out for at least a year....). It's called "My Private Jet" (from OPI) and it is, well, so cool. It is a gray--almost charcoal--based color with multi-colored metallic flecks in it. If you put only one coat on, it actually looks a little brown (and sparkly). With two coats you the gray really pops, and the shade changes with the light, because of all the different metallic colors in it. I guess it is hard to describe adequately. Let it be said, though, that I rarely put dark colors on my fingernails (I hate my stubby little fingers), but I love this shade so much it I tried it out. And it rocks. It really does. Almost makes me feel young. I'm sure my husband will make fun of me for this, but what the hey. Might as well get what joy we can from the little things.

My Teaser Tuesdays are Back. . .and hopefully so am I.

2008-12-09T17:53:00.000-08:00

Teaser Tuesdays, hosted at Should Be Reading, asks you to:

Good to be back, folks. How you been? I am hopeful that I will be posting more frequently again. Hopefully, the more I write, the more inspired I will become.

In order to ease back into posting, I thought I'd choose an easy day to start...hence, I begin with Teaser Tuesdays, which require only a minimum of thought on my part.

Two books again this week: One fiction, one nonfiction.

The first is the novel The Great Man, by Kate Christensen. It tells the story of an artist, a male painter, after his death, as revealed by the three women in his life: his wife, his long-term mistress and his artist sister.

"Being dragged from the world of painting back into the world of life was as difficult as forcing herself from the world of life back into the world of painting. A thick but permeable membrane separated them." p. 118

The second is Woman: An Intimate Geography by the brilliant Natalie Angier.

"The aesthetic breast is a bon vivant, after all, a party favor. For reliability, look to the ducts and lobules. They'll return when needed, and they're not afraid to work up a sweat." p. 145 (Okay-it was three sentences. . .but they fit together like....like...like breasts and brassieres!).

Happy Reading, folks!

Because Everything Tastes Better With Dirt

2008-11-30T19:42:00.000-08:00

One of my great joys in life, as you may have already ascertained if you've read my blog in the past, is listening to my kids mangle the English language. I don't know why. If you were an adult, I'd want to launch an RPG at you for misusing our esteemed language, but if you're a kid--well, it's just adorable.

One of my son's newest malapropisms is getting some extended play in our household. You see, he is one of those kids with an extremely limited diet (yeah, yeah, lecture me all you want. . .I know). One of the few things he eats is soy bacon, otherwise known as fake bacon around here. And it probably would not surprise you to learn that he is very particular about how is fake bacon is prepared. It has to be chewy, oily and a bit underdone. Well, sometimes Mama and her microwave don't quite measure up to his standards.

Recently, when this happened, my son yelled: "Mama my bacon isn't SOILISH." I looked at him in askance and said, "What?." "Soilish, Mama, soilish, my bacon isn't soilish enough." "Soilish"? I replied. I'm thinkin': his bacon isn't dirty enough? What the hell is this child's problem? Finally, after a lot of digging, I was able to figure out what he truly wanted. He wanted his bacon oily and limp (sounds appealing, no?). Somehow, he must have gotten the words soy and oil all mixed up, and came up with "soilish." Once I was finally able to stop howling with laughter, I wiped the tears from my eyes and asked him if he knew what soil is. He shook his head, no, so I explained--and he thought that was pretty darn funny--but he still wanted me to re-cook his bacon to "soilish" perfection.

Plopping a new plate down in front of him, I said with a grin: "Because everything tastes better with dirt."

And from there a mantra was born...

Thanksgiving

2008-11-26T20:24:00.000-08:00

Hey there...remember my friend Jerry? Well, I'm continuing to steal his words for my posts, as my well has temporarily (I hope only temporarily) run dry. I couldn't sum up the Thanksgiving holiday any better than he has. And let's all do as Jerry suggests...give thanks for what we have and remember to reach out to those we care about.

Thanksgiving Again!

Posted 10 hours ago

One of the first words that our girls learned was “again.” When Emma and Claire were very little, if they liked what you were doing and wanted you to repeat it – they would say “Again!”

If you have little kids – or spend any time with little kids -- you know what I mean: Playing peek-a-boo. “Again!” Tickling their sides. “Again!” Pushing them on a swing. “Again!”

Never has the word “Again!” been more powerfully on my mind than right now. As I think about what I am thankful for this Thanksgiving, I am thankful for the ability to say and do “again” this year. To host Thanksgiving, to accompany the girls on Halloween and to the pumpkin patch, to celebrate the Jewish holidays this fall, to be at the girls’ bus stop when they get home from school, to cheer Emma at her soccer games, to walk the Billy Goat Trail, to play poker with the guys. I could list hundreds more activities. Pretty simple things. But things that I did not know I would be able to do this year, and I am grateful for the ability to have done them all again.

I am also grateful for lots of things that were “firsts” for me in 2008 – including Space Mountain, Bermuda, the GammaKnife and visiting the Golan Heights. This list is long as well, and I am hopeful that I will have the opportunity to say and do “Again!” for many of them in the months and years ahead. (More like Bermuda, less like the Gamma Knife. Although I am glad to know it is there if I need it again.)

I looked back at what I wrote last year on Thanksgiving. And I am still grateful for each of the things I outlined here last year. I am not sure I would say things much differently than I did last year. Perhaps I am just a little bit more grateful to be able to share last year’s posting with you -- “Again!”

Wishing you and your family a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Love,

Jerry

Posted Nov 20, 2007 10:11pm

On Shabbat, Lisa and I talk with our girls about what each of us is thankful for that week. But on Thanksgiving, we tend to focus more on drinking, overeating, football and, in more recent years, karaoke.

This year is, well, a little different. And I wanted to let you know some of the things that I am thankful for. This Thanksgiving I am particularly grateful for:

• Waking up each morning, the summer-like weather we had through the end of October, and the beauty of leaves changing colors.

• The fact that I am not spending my time angry or bitter. That I can concentrate on getting well and enjoying life. That I laugh every day and have not lost my sense of humor.

• My brother Norm and my friend Steve, who are both doctors. When I could not mentally or emotionally sort through my options for treatment this summer, they, along with Lisa, did it for me.

• Michael Nissenblatt, the oncologist who treated me the second time I had cancer in 1984. Mike taught me then and reminds me now to look hell in the eyes and to fight back. His ability to inspire is unmatched.

• Memories of my mother. Her perseverance for years in the face of illness provided invaluable life lessons. If I am pushing my body too hard now, if I am spending more time with people than resting, if I am crazy enough to host 22 people for Thanksgiving two days after chemo, it is because I saw my mother push herself long after others would have quit.

• My sister-in-law Barbara, who has guided Lisa and me in addressing perhaps the most difficult part of our situation -- our kids’ emotional well being. Thanks to Barbara, we know exactly what to say when the girls ask tough questions.

• My team at Johns Hopkins, in whose hands I feel both comfortable and confident. I am so fortunate that JH is only an hour away from Bethesda. It has helped us to live a normal life in the most abnormal of circumstances – while receiving the best medical care in the world.

• The results of my scan on October 25.

• The pharmaceutical industry, whose discoveries are keeping me alive.

• That my side effects have been tolerable. I am really grateful that I can eat virtually all the foods I like – and that they taste perfectly normal to me. (Today it is worth pointing out – turkey is not a food I like. Never liked it. Still don’t.)

• The Washington Wizards, for not going 0-82. I am glad to have something to cheer for this season.

• Casey Jones, who has assumed so many of my responsibilities at CEB. He is an outstanding leader, with a huge heart and great sense of humor.

• Rabbi Greg Harris. He is a friend and teacher as well as a spiritual leader and provides me with incredible comfort, strength and a greater sense of purpose.

• Our family and many friends. The Beth El, Bannockburn and CEB communities. The well of support is much deeper and wider than I could ever have imagined. Your good thoughts, prayers, great meals and non-random acts of kindness have sustained us. We will be forever grateful.

• Lisa, whose beauty, strength, intelligence, persistence and compassion sustain me and comfort me every day.

• Emma and Claire. They make me laugh, make me proud, make me cry and make me scream. And when I look at them, I am reminded that miracles can and do occur.

For these things, and so much more, I thank God every day.

This Thanksgiving, if your parents are still alive, thank them and tell them you love them. If you have children, thank God and tell your children you love them. And reach out to a friend – maybe one with whom you have not spoken in a while – and say hello.

Happy Thanksgiving. With love and a heart filled with gratitude – Jerry

The Great Obama--a Guest Post

2008-11-08T09:08:00.000-08:00

I thought the following might be interesting for you to read. It was written by one of my best friends from law school, Jerry Sorkin. He has given me permission to post it here. Jerry is a tremendous and remarkable person--I wish I could be more like him: This was posted to his John Hopkins Care Pages website. For more than a year, he has been battling Stage IV lung cancer. He is doing amazingly well, and his optimism, humor, humanity and expansiveness are an inspiration. No one who has ever met him has failed to be impressed--or to have become a friend. He's just a lovely human being. So read on. . .and if you wish, keep Jerry and his family (wife Lisa and daughters Emma and Claire) in your thoughts and prayers:

The Great Obama

Twenty years ago, I was a first year law student. I can’t remember who came up with the nickname for our classmate, but there were a few of us who called him “The Great Obama.” I don’t think we ever called him “The Great Obama” to his face – it was a nickname that grew out of the kind of admiration and jealousy that you might expect from first-year Harvard Law students, who all had very high opinions of themselves as well.

From the beginning of law school, he stood out. Smart, articulate, a leader. Ironically, he stood out, in part, for having “real world experience.” Most of my classmates had come to law school straight from college. Barack was a few years older, and when he spoke he could talk about his experience outside of the classroom in a way that few others could.

Not surprisingly, Barack got a lot of airtime in class. And sometime during first year, I learned to do an impression of him that made friends laugh. I can’t do that impression anymore. Over the years his rhetorical skills have improved far more than my ability to impersonate. But every time I hear him interviewed, if he uses the phrase “my sense is…” or uses the word “folks” when he means “people”-- I laugh, remembering him talking in class during our first year of law school.

You could tell from the moment you met him that Barack would do great things; he had the charisma and leadership ability that just made him stand out. But no --- I certainly would not have predicted that he would run for and be elected president. I don’t know that any of our classmates can honestly say that they could have foreseen what has happened since.

When he decided to run for President I had my doubts – too inexperienced, too soon in his political career. But I supported him because of what I and my classmates had seen in him 20 years ago. He was smart, honest, hard-working, cool, and open-minded. Law school was a place with its ideologues on both sides, but Barack was willing to listen to and work with people regardless of their political beliefs. I didn’t think he could win (I had my doubts until Fox news called Ohio for him on Tuesday night), but I figured if he did it would be great. Barack has the characteristics that I wanted to see in my president.

Across the last two years, we have done our tiny part to support his campaign. We’ve had yards signs and bumper stickers for the first time. We’ve attended fundraisers, I’ve made phone calls, Emma and I have been canvassing in Virginia. We’ve even eaten Obamaburgers. And we got on the local TV news for doing so:

http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/us_world/Gastro-Politics_All__National_.html

I spent the last few days of the campaign volunteering in Virginia, helping to get out the vote. On Monday, the final day of the campaign, we went as a family to canvass in Manassas, Virginia. We stayed that evening to attend the final rally of the campaign -- along with 80,000 other supporters --- at the Prince William County Fairgrounds.

It was very important to me to bring the girls – even though Claire fell asleep before Barack spoke at 10:30 p.m. I wanted them to be a part of history at the rally. To remember that they heard Barack Obama speak the night before he was elected president. But even more importantly, I wanted them to help – even a tiny bit -- on the campaign. I wanted to help drive home the lesson of the importance of working for causes you believe in. It is not enough to sit home and watch it on TV and to wish for something to come true – if you want something to happen, you need to work for it.

One thing that amazed me about the Obama campaign was how many people I know got involved. We had friends and relatives volunteering in Pennsylvania, Virginia, North Carolina, Ohio, Wisconsin, Indiana and Florida. And many of these were folks like me: People who had never been involved in a campaign before – and they were traveling to battleground states to try to make a difference. Yes, a few of them were law school classmates – but the vast majority was not. They were simply moved by this election to take action.

I believe that – whatever your political beliefs -- electing the first African-American president is both an historic moment and one that makes you proud to be an American. It has been so moving for me to speak to people who see Barack’s election as a validation of the American dream. To speak with immigrants and people of color who can now say to their children honestly, “In America, you can grow up to be anything you want, even President.”

I believe in Barack Obama, and despite the horrible state of current affairs, I believe he and his administration will be able to help right the ship of this country. I believe it because of the character of the man I met 20 years ago. I believe it because I think he will attract a new generation of the “best and the brightest” to come to work in government again. And I believe it because of his (and his campaign’s) ability to motivate millions. If he can run a government half as well as he ran a campaign – as a country, we will be in good shape.

I haven’t done much celebrating since Tuesday night. In part, I’ve been in shock. In part, I’ve just been exhausted. I put all my energy into those last few days of the campaign. But I did not want to wake up the day after the election and see that Barack had lost Virginia by a few votes and know that I might have been able to contribute. Even in some tiny way.

The election has held such a fascination for me, I am certain to go into withdrawal over the next few weeks. Luckily, we have the transition and the inauguration to look forward to.

Oh, and if someone can score tickets to the Inaugural Ball where Springsteen is going to play…let me know.

Love,

Jerry

Oh, and (Karen here. . .), for those who want to know Jerry's background, his undergraduate degree is in economics from Yale and he has spent most of his working life in business-and finance-related fields...

In Memoriam

2008-11-01T21:49:00.000-07:00

Edith K. Lipson May 11, 1924-October 31, 2008

Loving and well-loved; beautiful inside and out. I'll miss you Aunt Edith.

Vote No on Prop. 8

2008-10-28T09:35:00.000-07:00

I don't have as much time as I'd like to get up on my soapbox and harangue you all about the importance of voting no on this CA proposition. So, I'm linking to a fellow mom blogger's entry, complete with compelling video. Go, read, watch, and vote no on prop. 8. http://www.svmoms.com/2008/10/how-the-calif-1.html

Green Lemonade

2008-10-28T07:23:00.000-07:00

Short post today--still too much to do before reno. Wanted to let you know I continue to live and breathe, though.

Okay, those who know me know that, although I try to make reasonably healthy food choices, I cannot be called a health foodist. I enjoy chocolate cake (and a few thousand other sweet treats) as much as anyone. Foie gras? You betcha. An occasional greasy fry? Oh YEAH. Still, all in all, I try to keep the crap to a minimum.

And every once in a while, a truly healthy food crosses my path that I actually love. Lately, there have been two items. First is--hold your hats, folks-- Kale in a Krunch Chips in Pleasing Pesto by Alive and Radiant Foods. These are basically dehydrated pieces of kale, flavored with basil, garlic, hemp seeds and some other stuff. Most of it organic. All of it raw. I know, I know. Kale? Hemp Seeds? Dehydrated? Raw? Have I gone off the deep end? Nope, nope, nope and nope. These are the most addictive things this side of crack. The crunch is perfect (if you make sure they stay dry after opening) and the pesto flavor is so savory, so yummy, that it is almost impossible to stop eating them. It is rare that a whole bag will last even a day in our house. Lest you question my judgment, I brought them into my Pilates studio to share--(I know, this is arguably a self-selecting group) and they were a huge hit. (BTW, not every one who takes Pilates is all crunchy and healthy. My Pilates instructor, despite her g-ddamned perfect body AND face, is also a pastry chef--we spend almost every session exercising and talking about food. There's probably something wrong with that. . .but we don't care.) I'm telling you these things ROCK. And on top of everything else--they are really good for you. Kale is a major superfood, so you can satisfy your savory tooth and feel good about it at the same time. This stuff comes in other flavors, but I love the pesto flavor so much that I've not yet been tempted to stray. . .

Aw man, what was I thinking? This stuff is hard to come by--and now I've shared the secret. (Head. Banging. On. Wall.)

The second item takes a little more labor, but the health benefits are so great and the taste so yummy (assuming you like lemon), that all the work is worth it. If everyone drank a cup of this every morning--it might just bring down the cost of health insurance. 'Cause I'm tellin' you, hardly anyone would be getting sick. What is this nectar of the gods, you ask?

Green Lemonade. I cannot even begin to take credit for this recipe. It comes from another raw food source. (I know, what is UP with all this raw food stuff in my house?): The Raw Food Detox Diet by Natalia Rose. Again, you don't have to be a raw foodie or detoxing to benefit from this juice. I'll let Ms. Rose describe it: "[Green Lemonade] literally infuses your body with millions of enzymes, keeps your immune system strong year-round, offers unparallelled protection against osteoporosis, and tastes highly refreshing and filling." It also cures the nastiest of hangovers. (Okay, she didn't say this last--but I thought it sounded good anyway. And you know what--I wouldn't be surprised if it did cure what ails you the morning after. . .).

I give you....(drumroll, please). . . .

GREEN LEMONADE

Makes 1 serving

1 head (yes, head) romaine lettuce or celery (NB: Unless you LOVE celery, I, Nouvelle Blogger, recommend you stick with the romaine).
5 to 6 stalks kale (any type)
1 to 2 apples (as needed for sweetness--Ms. Rose recommends organic Fuji)
1 whole organic lemon (you don't have to peel it)
1 to 2 inches fresh ginger (optional)

Process the vegetables in a juicer. (Apparently, a food processor or blender is NOT what you're looking for here). Pour into a large glass, and drink! Notice how the lemon really cuts out the "green" taste that most people try to avoid. You may use any greens in place of the romaine and kale, like celery, chard, collards, spinach, cucumber, and so forth--as long as there are some dark leafy greens in there too. For best results, enjoy Green Lemonae on an empty stomach.

Try it, you'll like it. Trust me. And the check's in the mail. Really.

You know it's bad when. . .

2008-10-22T13:12:00.000-07:00

You know it's bad when menopause looks like an attractive option.

Out of Office Reply. . .

2008-10-19T23:30:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't posted in a while. I warned you. Between my kids practically NEVER being in school (Fall is a big holiday time for the Jewish Day School set) and trying to get ready for this move to our temporary abode, I simply have no time to write, and my focus at the moment ain't much to brag about either. No focus=no creativity=no topic=no output.

Sometime soon after November 1, though, I hope to start posting again. And hopefully the nice ladies who run the LA Moms Blog will not have kicked me off (I'm supposed to post there at least twice a month. . .oops. I promise I'll make it up to you!)

So hang in there, all two of you. I'll talk at you soon.

Musical Misunderstandings, Excuses and Tuesday Teasers on Sunday

2008-09-21T16:51:00.000-07:00

MUSICAL MISUNDERSTANDINGS

I've posted previously about my son's interpretation of Elvis Costello's Oliver's Army ("Ollabazami"). Two other songs recently made me remember how EASY it is to misunderstand song lyrics--and how funny the results.

First up--Suicide Blonde by INXS. I hadn't heard this one in a long time when it recently popped up on my radio. I remembered how I could never figure out what the hell Michael Hutchence was saying. To me, instead of "Suicide Blonde", it sounded like he was crooning "Soup and Salad Bar." I couldn't figure out why anyone wanted to write a song about a soup and salad bar. Maybe it was a riff on society's bourgeois sensibilities? Obviously, I was at some point informed of my error. But you know what? Nothing's changed. It STILL sounds like he's saying "Soup and Salad Bar" to me. Seriously--go listen to it and tell me if you don't think it sounds more like my interpretation!

Second, my kids heard a radio promo for a concert or something with David Byrne and Brian Eno--and a generous snippet of the Talking Heads' "Life During Wartime" was played. You can probably guess which part of the song it was: "This ain't no party, this ain't no disco, this ain't no foolin' around. . ." This resulted in loud guffawing from the back seat and the question: "Did he really say 'this ain't no potty,' Mama??" I of course explained that he was saying "party," not that the kids cared. They decided they liked it better as "This ain't no potty." So every time the promo comes on I am treated to their interpretation plus any other scatological lyrics they can come up with . . .--stuff like "This ain't no potty, this ain't no disco, don't want no poop in this house." It's lovely. (And okay, yeah, it's funny--but then again, I have the sense of humor of a 10-year-old boy).

Maybe Musical Misunderstandings is a misnomer. Perhaps I should have called this section "Lyrical Misunderstandings." Nah, the first is so much more charmingly alliterative. (I just love saying that word. . ."aaaalllliiiiittttterrrrrrittttttivvvvvvve.")
====================================
EXCUSES

I'm sorry not to be writing more frequently. My husband is out-of-town for more than two weeks and we're getting ready to remodel the downstairs of our house. I seem to be spending all my time on that. (This week alone, I had at least 6-hours worth of meetings involving the remodel). And carpooling. And grocery shopping. And bill paying. And errands. And otherwise shuttling the kids around and yada, yada. The usual. We're also getting ready to go back east for a week for the Jewish holidays. All of this is making it very difficult for me to sit down at the computer and just write. I know, I know, bitch, moan, bitch, moan. And I've got news for you, folks. It's probably only going to get worse. Because as soon as I get back from my trip, I've got to find a temporary abode for us and pack up everything--all in the space of about three weeks. I hoping, at least, that the remodel, once it has begun, will provide me with fodder to write about. So, bear with me. All 2 of you who are regular readers!
=====================================
TUESDAY TEASERS

As usual, I can't manage to post my Tuesday Teasers on the correct day. So here are mine for this week. Or is it last week? Tell you what--I'll post the teasers today for this coming Tuesday, but won't link the post at Should Be Reading until Tuesday. Does that work for you? Well, it works for me, so you're stuck with it.

Teaser Tuesdays, hosted at Should Be Reading, asks you to:

As usual, I can't confine myself to an excerpt from only one book. I actually think I'm showing enormous self-control in quoting from only two. Count your blessings.

The first is from Nancy Horan's novelization of Frank Lloyd Wright's affair with Mamah Borthwick--told from her (Mamah's, that is) perspective--Loving Frank:

"As she pulled into the driveway, she saw him and the workmen crouched around something, probably plans. When she got closer, she saw that they were circled around an array of eggs, standing, every last one of them, on end." Page 227.

The second is from the YA fantasy novel, first in a series, called Fablehaven, by Brandon Mull:

"'Are you okay?' Kendra said, squatting beside Seth.

He made a garbled moan, then a second, more distressed complaint that sounded like a donkey gargling mouthwash." Page 132

LMAO, so I won't cry

2008-09-17T15:40:00.000-07:00

This in from the AP:

McCain and running mate Sarah Palin softened opposition to government bailouts, accepting the U.S. takeover of the nation's largest insurer as unfortunate but necessary to protect ordinary Americans.

"The shot that has been called by the Feds — it's understandable but very, very disappointing that taxpayers are called upon for another one," Palin told reporters during a visit to delicatessen in Cleveland.

Uh, did it ever occur to McPalin that the "understandable but very, very disappointing" decision the government made is a direct result of the deregulation policies supported by McCain, and his Republican cronies and predecessors? The hypocrisy is appalling. I just wish I could find it surprising.

Black Shoes

2008-09-15T09:22:00.000-07:00

So, I was reading this morning's HARO requests and came across the following from a writer at Reader's Digest:

"Why do many women frequently own 12 pairs of black shoes?"

"Aha," I crowed. "FINALLY, something I can answer."

Usually when I look at the reporters' requests they're so specialized that there's no way a simple (simple-minded?) SAHM like me could be of any assistance. They're looking for stuff like "Icelandic lesbian mothers with children with Aspergers Syndrome and careers in reindeer marketing. I want to know: How do you do it all.?"

But shoes? Black shoes? THAT I could answer.

My response to Mr. Reader's Digest was more or less the following. Of course, being the good Jewish mother I am, I first had to answer his question with a question:

"Why only 12?"

I mean, come one, how many pairs of black shoes do YOU own????

My second response was: You know that old joke--Why does a dog lick his balls? Well, the answer to your question, Mr. Reporter, is the same--BECAUSE WE CAN.

However, I felt a little guilty about my flippant remarks and decided to give him a more serious answer to his question. To wit:

Black shoes, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways:

Casual for jeans
Casual nice for nice pants
Work low heels
Work high heels

Summer nice sandals
Summer bum-around-in shorts-sandals
Semi-Dressy conservative high heels (for synagogue, church, etc.)
Semi-Dressy conservative low heels (ditto)

Formal, knock-me-down-and-fuck-me, sexy heels (cocktail parties, balls, galas, privacy of your own bedroom, etc.) -at least 2 pairs, one for summer, one for winter. (I chickened out, though--I left the "fuck-me" part out of my e-mail. This is Reader's Digest, for chrissake. And come to think of it, the formal shoes should have had their own category separate from the fuck-me shoes, because, really, they are--or can be--very different animals).

Clogs
Sneakers
High Heel nice boots (extra points if you have one pair in leather and one in suede)
Low Heel nice boots (ditto)

Grungy kick-around in boots
High Heel booties
Low Heel booties
Motorcycle and/or cowboy boots

And at least one pair of black shoes you don't need, but couldn't help buying because they SPEAK to you. A pair you love so much you'll never, ever part with them. And let's be honest--most of us have more than one pair of these, don't we??

I don't see what's so hard to understand. Duh.

How many pairs of black shoes do you own? I really do want to know. Bonus points for putting it in appropriate sonnet form. No freakin' way I had to time or patience to do that.

Contest on friend's blog

2008-09-15T08:51:00.001-07:00

My friend Florinda is hosting a giveaway of Joshua Henkin's Matrimony (signed by the author). Head on over to The 3 R's, and post a comment to be entered to win.

Thoughts and Prayers

2008-09-14T13:23:00.000-07:00

My thoughts and prayers go out to all those who have been affected by the Los Angeles Metrolink crash and by Hurricane Ike. For those who don't know, a Metrolink crash near Chatsworth on Friday killed 25 people. The head-on collision between the Metrolink train and the Union Pacific freight train, with 222 people aboard, left 24 dead at the scene and 135 more injured in the crash, 95 of them critically or seriously. One person later died at the hospital.

If you're an LA local and want to do something to help, I received the following information from the local Obama campaign:

The UCLA Blood and Platelet Center will be open Monday through Friday to accept blood donations. Healthy donors of all blood types are needed to donate blood. Appointments can be made by calling 310-794-7217 ext. 2. Contact the Red Cross at 800-RED-CROSS or visit www.redcross.org for other information about blood donation or ways you can help.

I'm sure that the Red Cross is also helping victims of Hurricane Ike.

Thank you, and please keep your thoughts and prayers with the families and victims affected by these terrible events.

You like me; You really like me!

2008-09-13T10:20:00.000-07:00

Well, I had a nice surprise this week: ChefDruck (which believe me, is a much better moniker than ChefDreck) nominated me for a "I [heart] your blog" award. Of course this one comes with strings attached. I have to answer some questions, then nominate seven other bloggers. . ..but that's okay with me as I was at a loss as to what to post today anyway! I'm feeling a bit of a creative void of late. In fact, I'm feeling paralyzed with so much to do, and a lot of things half-done. Ahh, but that's a different post.

Here are the rules: I have to answer the following questions with one word answers and one word only! Then I must pass it on to seven others! The questions are as follows:

1. Where is your cell phone? Charging
2. Where is your significant other? Bathroom (!)
3. Your hair color? Brown (today)
4. Your mother? Virginia (oops, NJ, they're traveling this weekend)
5. Your father? Virginia (ditto)
6. Your favorite thing? Chocolate
7. Your dream last night? Forgot
8. Your dream/goal? Restedness
9. The room you're in? Bedroom
10. Your hobby? Reading
11. Your fear? Cancer
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Happy
13. Where were you last night? Home
14. What you're not? Easygoing
15. One of your wish-list items? Raging Libido (sorry--2 words--but "libidinousness" was just too awkward!)
16. Where you grew up? Virginia
17. The last thing you did? Dishes
18. What are you wearing? Dirty clothes
19. Your TV? Huge.
20. Your pet? Dog & fish
21. Your computer? Macbook
22. Your mood? Unsettled
23. Missing someone? Yes
24. Your car? Sienna
25. Something you're not wearing? Bra
26. Favorite store? Chocosphere.com
27. Your summer? Chaotic
28. Love someone? Family
29. Your favorite color? All (except burnt sienna)
30. When is the last time you laughed? Bedtime
31. Last time you cried? Thursday

While it's hard to whittle my faves down to seven (I'll get the rest of them next time. . .), the seven bloggers I am nominating are as follows:

Florinda at The 3R's: Reading, 'Riting, and Randomness (Fabulous book blog, seriously. I love this woman).

Anna at Life Just Keeps Getting Weirder (I almost hesitate to give you this one; she is so freakin' funny, you may never read my blog again).

Jessica Gottlieb (Not that she needs anymore love--but I'll give it to her anyway--even if she is a fuckin' Republican. I can call her that because she calls me a fuckin' communist. We have a special relationship.)

Cynthia at Don't Gel Too Soon. (We should all be as talented and thoughtful as Cynthia is. Great political commentary).

Joanne at Punditmom (This is another one who doesn't really need the linky love; she does quite well on her own--but her political blog is a must-read.)

Ageless Body/Timeless Mom (I love reading this blog. She cracks me up AND she's currently as obsessed with the Presidential election as I am).

Nina over at Charlie and Nina. (She's a young, incredibly bright mom who simply writes beautifully and from the heart.)

LBJ and the Jews

2008-09-12T07:57:00.001-07:00

Who knew that LBJ was such a long-time supporter of the Jews? I guess there's always room for surprise in this life. The man had flaws--but it appears he often tried to do the right thing. . .and that has to count for something. Read this Jerusalem Post article--It's fascinating.

Devil's Confection

2008-09-11T23:41:00.000-07:00

Forget Sarah Palin--it's Nutella that's proves the Devil's existence.

Really.

I can resist Sarah Palin. I wish I could say the same about Nutella.

Lipstick, Pigs and Pit Bulls

2008-09-10T08:25:00.000-07:00

I can't say it (or show it) any better than Cynthia Samuels did, so I'm not going to.

Mosey on over and read what she has to say. You won't be sorry you did; she couldn't be more right on.

Teaser Tuesdays, One Anachronistic Mama, and a Pundit Boy

2008-09-09T11:28:00.000-07:00

Much to blather on about, folks. But first up----

Teaser Tuesdays, hosted at Should Be Reading, asks you to:

I've realized that I have about 5 or 6 books I'm in the process of reading. I just haven't been able to focus on any one book lately. I'm sure it has more to do with my state of mind than the quality of the books; this just happens to me sometimes.

I'd love to know: Have you ever experienced what I like to call Reading ADD?

Anyhow--I'm teasing from two books today.

First teaser is from Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking. I started this a long time ago; never finished it (I just couldn't get into it). I've picked it up again, and find myself enjoying it. Go figure.

"As I thought about the difference between the two sentences I realized that my impression of myself had been of someone who could look for, and find, the upside in any situation. I had believed in the logic of popular songs." page 171

The second teaser is from the YA-ish novel(I say "-ish," because my 9.5-year-old-daughter and I are reading this, and, as much as she'd like to believe otherwise, she is in no way close to being an adult--young or otherwise) The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart.

"The strategy worked, but not without problems. In the corridor between classes Constance complained under her breath, 'Everytime you have a real itch, I get the wrong answer.'" page 227.

Happy Reading, folks!

__________________________________
One Anachronistic Mama

Okay, so I just had a birthday. I turned (gulp) 44. And, well, I'm feeling kind of old--I no longer think I can claim with any conviction that I am still in my early 40's. It's probably safe, if sad, to say that 44 can only fairly be viewed as mid-forties. Sigh. (Note to self: Begin to lie about age??)

Anyhow, some of you may be aware of an e-mail service (for lack of a better word) called Help A Reporter Out (HARO). This guy, Peter Shankman--a self-described CEO, Entrepreneur and Adventurist (whatever the hell THAT is--what's wrong with "Adventurer"?)-- collects and collates requests from reporters and other such similar folks (I see a lot of requests for swag bag donations...), and a few times a day he e-mails out a list of these requests with the contact information for the reporter (or PR person, or whomever).

Today, I answered a reporter's request for info on how college kids cook and eat in their dorm rooms. While college is ancient history for me, I still passed along my secret recipe for dorm room grilled cheese (it involves an iron. . .kinky stuff, huh?). I received the following gracious, if suitably ego-shriveling response:

"What a great story. I hope I’ll have room for it in my article, as a measure of how times have changed."(Italics and red fucking ink mine).

I'm a crone.

_______________________________
Pundit Boy

The following happened last week--I just haven't had a chance to post about it. But first, a little background:

My six-year-old son, who just began first grade, seems to have an unusually keen interest in politics for a child his age. We first noticed this during the primary season, when he was still in kindergarten. According to his kindergarten teacher, he was responsible on more than one occasion for heated discussions over the Lego table--usually involving mini-Camp Obama versus mini-Camp Clinton. She more than once had to break up the fun before the children resorted to blows.

He would also go into his classroom daily with the latest primary results. "Barack and Hillary are nose-to-nose now," he reported to his teachers. When they asked him if he knew what "nose-to-nose" meant, he replied "Of course, it's like neck-and-neck, only closer." (I swear on my purple toenails--these reports came straight from his teacher--and were usually delivered amid peals of laughter and much eye-wiping).

So last week, when I had McCain's acceptance speech (what a snooze-fest THAT was) on TV, I wasn't too surprised when my son suspended his game on Club Penguin (BTW, I'm convinced there are evil subliminal messages being sent to our children through insidious websites like Club Penguin, Webkinz and Toontown) and climbed on the couch to watch with me. He listened intently--more so than I did. Then, when my husband came home from work, my son ran up to him immediately and screeched with great conviction--"DADDY--YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR JOHN MCCAIN--HE WANTS WAR!

Leave it to a kid to distill McCain's views down to their essence. Lest you think I influenced my son in any way--I did not discuss the speech with him (I couldn't have; I was barely listening), nor have I discussed McCain and his platform with him. He merely listened to what McCain had to say and drew his own conclusions. (Smart boy!!)

My son continues to be ardently anti-McCain--the other day when his former kindergarten teacher was babysitting for us, he apparently also told her that she shouldn't vote for McCain, "because he likes war." She was gratified to know he continued to be interested in politics; she told me all about it--after drinking a large glass of water to cure her hiccups.

I'm starting to believe my son should start a political blog--we could call it--what else?-- "Pundit Boy." (With a nod to Joanne Bamberger, the original Pundit Mom.) Unlike the rest of us, HE could probably get advertising revenue. . .

TTFN, folks.

And the giveaway winners are. . .

2008-09-08T22:40:00.000-07:00

Okay--I know I should have posted this last night. So sorry. Luckily, the apology comes with a bit of free advice: Don't run a giveaway during the first week your children go back to school.

Now, without further ado or excuses. . . .

The winners of the Boca goods and Krazy Ketchup (gotta LOVE those k's):

Vanessa
Stimey
Danielle.

I just need your address info, and you'll be chowing down in no time. I also have some other stuff to give away--mostly kid-related, so if you feel comfortable telling me your children's ages and genders, I might just throw in a little something extra, provided what I've got is suitable.

Congratulations one and all!

Palin Speech Fact Check

2008-09-07T20:37:00.000-07:00

I received the following fact check of Palin's speech from someone in the Obama campaign. It does a pretty good job of breaking things down (albeit with some occasional Obama-flavored spin).

You Go, Frank Rich!

2008-09-07T12:12:00.000-07:00

Gotta love Frank!!

Palin and McCain's Shotgun Marriage:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/07/opinion/07rich.html?ex=1378440000&en=20cbb79ef0bedc51&ei=5124&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink

Letter about Sarah Palin from a resident of Wasilla, AK

2008-09-06T21:25:00.000-07:00

Before you scoff at the following's veracity (I was certainly skeptical), I checked this out on Snopes.com, and it is, indeed, written by Anne Kilkenny of AK.

http://shannynmoore.wordpress.com/2008/09/03/link-to-anne-kilkennys-open-letter/

Thanks to Lucia at The New 30 for the link.

Karen, Oprah, Oprah, Karen...

2008-09-06T20:55:00.001-07:00

MyHeritage: Celebrity Collage - Family history - Geneology

Well, according to My Heritage website, I look like these 8 people. But the person I most resemble is Oprah. Huh??? (If only my bank account resembled hers. ..) It's actually funny, because the one celebrity I have ever consistently been told I look like is Jodie Foster. . .and she's not even on the list. Maybe I'd get a different result using a different picture. . . .Hmmm.

Oh, and the two people whose faces are cut off (sorry, not tech savvy enough to fix it)--Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter, that is) and some other chick I've never heard of.

You guys have GOT to try this!

Hypocrisy Much?

2008-09-06T18:16:00.000-07:00

Check out this Jon Stewart Video:

Teaser Tuesday on Saturday

2008-09-06T08:55:00.000-07:00

Teaser Tuesdays, hosted at Should Be Reading, asks you to:

As usual, my Teaser is not on Tuesday; I don't know about you, but I like being teased ANY day of the week! This week's quote comes from Sepharad by Antonio Munoz Molina; translated from the Spanish by Margaret Sayers Peden. Nota Bene: I'm only giving you a single sentence, because it is of practically Proustian length.

"She murmurs your name, using a diminutive I've never heard, undoubtedly the name your mother and she gave you when you were little, and sitting on the edge of the bed you put your arms around her, sinking into the odor of sickness you kiss the unrecognizable face, the hard bones of death beneath transparent skin, you call to her quietly, as if wanting to wake her from all this." page 86

Palin, Teen Pregnancy and the Constitution, Oh My!

2008-09-04T12:49:00.001-07:00

I'm just going to post some random thoughts about Sarah Palin and all that is roiling around her. I've been thinking a lot these past few days about her nomination, her family, her choices, her policies, her political views and, finally, last night, her speech. I've had quite a few ideas. Slow cogitator that I am though, others have beaten me to the punch in posting observations that are in line with my thoughts. Pundit Mom has a couple of good posts on Palin (I'm just linking to her general website, since there are multiple relevant posts. . .you'll just have to, and I know this is cruel of me to ask it, scroll down and find the articles yourselves.). MojoMom's "Give me a Constitutional law prof any day" beautifully dissects a couple of the troubling parts (would that there were only 1 or 2 troubling parts) of Palin's speech last night.

1. We should all have sympathy for Bristol. Not because she's a pregnant teenager (could and has happened to countless others), but because she has been thrust into a media spotlight not of her own making. And one way or another, she's going to end up being used as a pawn in the campaign--directly or obliquely, by one side or the other or both. We can question Sarah Palin's bona fides as a parent for either (a) naively not thinking this would affect her daughter or her candidacy much or (b) ruthlessly using her for her own practical and/or idealogical ends. I'm not talking mommy wars, here, I'm not talking about ambitious working mothers--I'm talking about protecting ones children while one can. Unless she herself did not know of her daughter's pregnancy until after the nomination (which, whatever anyone says, is possible--kids are really good at hiding things when they want to), I have to question her judgment in thrusting Bristol front and center. She may say she discussed the ramifications thoroughly with Bristol, but how equipped is any 17-year-old to really understand what she would be getting into? Coupled with her young age (yes, old enough to have a child, I know. . .), she does not exactly come from a long line of national or even state politicians--she has no real frame of reference from which to make an informed decision as to whether and how this would affect her. Assuming mom truly asked for her input.

Also--even if mom did sincerely ask and listen to her daughter, how many 17-year olds are strong enough to tell a parent not to run for vice-president if she didn't want that parent to do so. It is likely though--being raised by her mom and with the values her mom instilled, Bristol would have freely said go ahead--and that again, is where we get into her youth and inexperience. Because even if Bristol was all gung-ho about her mom's candidacy, was she really the best person to judge for herself what the effects would be on her life? Lest anyone accuse me of being unduly paternalistic (or maternalistic, if you prefer), let me remind you that Bristol is still a child, and a little paternal/maternalistic oversight might be just what she needs. (I'm not talking about the pregnancy, nor am I blaming it on a lack of parental oversight, I'm talking about how her mom's candidacy will affect her life--probably long after the spotlight has moved on to someone else).

2. While many Democrats have been both incredulous and gleeful over the news that Bristol is pregnant, thinking it sounds the death knell for Palin's candidacy and possibly showcasing McCain's oft-discussed impetuousness, I'm not so sure that the Republican's didn't get it right (disturbingly right)--from their perspective, that is. In reading a lot of comments by Joe and Josie Q. Public--I've found not outrage or despair or anger or disappointment, but rather support for Palin and McCain. This has humanized Palin to a lot of "regular" folks. "It could happen to anyone" is a frequent refrain. "What a GOOD Christian, what a fine parent Sarah Palin is for not blaming her daughter and supporting her and the grandchild-to-be." There is little talk among this constituency of the role abstinence and lack of sex education and birth control may have played in the current scenario--nor how Palin's views and policies on these subjects may be relevant to Bristol's teen mother status. There really isn't much of any discussion about how teen parenthood isn't a great thing, and, gosh, what can we do about it. Somehow, to these folks Sarah Palin comes out looking like a loving, generous heroine. If this was all calculated by Palin, the campaign and/or the Republican party, it couldn't have been calculated any more accurately. Democrats need to watch out--this may NOT be the boon they initially envisioned.

3. There were so many troubling things about Sarah Palin's speech--and I don't know which to attribute to her and which to the campaign's speechwriters. Yes, she was a poised and engaging speaker--with a sense of humor. But the content was scary at times and frequently short of detail, save that of bashing the media and Obama (and the Democrats in general). In her assessment of the media and "the enemy" I almost felt shades of a threatened cultural revolution (in the sense of China's Cultural Revolution). McCain's campaign as a whole, of late, has had that feel--as if we needed, as a moral matter, to purge this nation of idolaters and unbelievers. Palins views and rhetoric only seem to underscore this.

Aside from spouting blatant misinformation about Obama and herself (dare I call them lies?), she also dismissed the Constitution and the Supreme Court with a airy wave of her hand. "Rights? Who needs to be read their rights? These are terrorists . . ." Gee, I really feel safe in her hands. If she is so quick to deride Miranda and Habeas Corpus, what else is she willing to dispose of in a heartbeat? For more on her less-than-truthfulness, click here. There's an even more detailed rebuttal here.

Actually, most of the speech seemed contentless--there was nothing truly politically meaty to sink our teeth into. No real policy suggestions, just a lot of demonizing of the "other." And people were just lapping up everything she had to say--seeming to believe without question whatever she propounded. My husband and I could not believe folks were cheering her on. She gave Obama a lot of grief for his "pretty rhetoric," but what, really did she offer instead? A lot of empty rhetoric, rhetoric very short on substance and very long on ridicule and scorn. Wow, that's really admirable. Makes me want to vote for her--I totally see what she stands for now.

4. Hosts of other questions have been raised about Ms. (or does she prefer Mrs.?) Palin--and these all need to be investigated and understood--including, among other things, her understanding, or lack thereof of national and international politics, her pork-barrel spending requests (that McCain criticized her for), her true connection with the Alaska Independence Party, her role in firing a state official who did not dismiss her former brother-in-law. (Maybe the ex-bro deserved it, I don't know--but we need to find out the real story). Ah yes, and then there's the story of her affair. Well, the NE got it right once--maybe they have once again, although I hate to stoop to that level. I'm sure we can all find lots of other reasons not to elect the McCain/Palin ticket.

5. Finally--did you notice how DIVERSE the Republican convention looked? Wow. I'm bowled over. They are SO inclusive! Ha! Perhaps they thought that having a female on the podium would distract folks from the sea of white, largely male faces on the convention floor.

P.S. She talked a lot about McCain's honesty and integrity. . .um. . .let's see--Keating 5 scandal, anyone? Cheating on wife and marrying another? Flip-flopping on most of the issues he in the past found important? Uh-uh--yep, honesty and integrity. . .he has 'em all. (And I used to like the guy--until he sold out all his old beliefs to get to the White House, turning his back on all the things that made him unique and likeable).

P.P.S. I just read a relevant and terrific post from Cynthia at Don't Gel Too Soon--please also check it out.

Sarah Palin's 17-year-old daughter is pregnant!

2008-09-01T19:47:00.000-07:00

Ya gotta love it! 17-year-old high school senior Sarah Palin is pregnant! I'll post more after I get the kids to bed. I'm sure it's wrong for me to feel gleeful.

BACK-TO-SCHOOL GIVEAWAY

2008-08-27T08:11:00.001-07:00

GIVEAWAY GIVEAWAY GIVEAWAY GIVEAWAY!!!

My, that's a big, bright banner for my modest, little back-to-school giveaway. Got to hook you somehow, though, right?

Here's what's at stake (or at steak?!): Thanks to the fine folks at Boca, I have some coupons for a free Boca product (of your choice) to give away. I've always liked Boca's Burgers--best, most beef-like, vegetarian ones I've tasted. I tried a couple of their new products at BlogHer, although I can't for the life of me remember what they were. I was in a low-blood-sugar fog/rage at the time, so my memory's a little hazy. I do remember the food was tasty, though, and it really saved me--kept me from passing out or attacking random passersby for their snacks.

To go with your Boca burgers (or whatever other Boca product you choose), I am also including a bottle of this new, healthier ketchup I've come across called Krazy Ketchup. This isn't your run-of-the-mill ketchup, no siree. (At $5.00 a 12oz bottle, it better not be). It's a puree of all sorts of organic vegetables--mostly tomatoes, of course. Aw heck, I'll just let the folks at Krazy Ketchup describe it for themselves:

My daughter and I like this ketchup, and not just because it's healthy. My son--not so much. This probably has more to do with texture than anything else, as it is a little thicker and denser than standard-issue ketchup. Keep in mind, though, that my son has a repertoire of about 4 foods he is willing to eat, not including chocolate. He hates, among other things, hot dogs, pudding, pancakes and doughnuts (what child does't like DOUGHNUTS????!!!). He's only ever liked one brand of chocolate milk, and when the stores in our area stopped carrying it, I fed him a different brand without telling him. BIG mistake. He could tell it was different at the first sip. So, no more chocolate milk for him. He also is willing to drink only ONE flavor of ONE particular brand of drinkable yogurt. And the child won't even TASTE honey or maple syrup. I think you can understand why I feel you shouldn't rely on my son's evaluation of the ketchup--or any other food product, for that matter. (Unless it's chicken nuggets--he's got a pretty good grasp of the subtleties of chicken nuggets. . .)

So--there will be three lucky winners in this contest, as I have three bottles of wild and Krazy Ketchup. There will be one or two coupons per winner for free Boca products, depending upon how many I decide to keep for myself. I may throw an extra surprise item in the package, too. But I'm not making any promises--so don't get all excited just yet.

In the interest of full disclosure, I will tell you that Boca provided me with the coupons, although I made no promises to review or mention their products for good or ill. The gals at Krazy Ketchup have no idea I'm doing this (at least until I e-mail them with an introduction to me and a link to my blog. . .), so they just owe me big-time.

How, you ask, do you actually enter to win this delicious (and exposition-heavy) contest? I was inspired, as I so often am, by my friend Florinda and her Ten on Tuesday post. This week, it was: 10 Things I Didn't Like About School. [Note: While I started drafting this post on Tuesday, I didn't have a chance to finish until today--so now you have Ten on Tuesday on Wednesday.]

While I listed all 10 things I disliked about school, I'm going to cut you a break. To win, you only need to leave a comment below with the 5 things you disliked or downright hated about school. Alternatively, you can post the 5 things on your own blog, then leave a comment below with a link back to your post. (Feel free to be far more succinct than I am). You can earn extra chances if you (a) link to my post on your blog, and/or (b) list the full 10 things.

The contest is open to residents of the US and Canada. And I reserve the right to choose the winners any way I want to, although I'll probably be using www.random.org because I think it is a cool site. The contest will end sometime toward the end of the week of September 1st. I haven't decided which day yet. I'll keep you posted on that, though.

10 Things Karen Disliked About School (in no particular order)

Like Florinda, I generally liked school--at least the academic part of it. Nevertheless I was still able, with some mental scrambling, to come up with 10 things I didn't like about school--most of them social. (And I swear, I'm not copying you, Florinda!)

1. PE. I sucked at sports. Or at least I thought I did. (I realized as an adult that I'm not that bad--or I finally matured into my physicality-- or whatever). And my performance generally lived down to my low expectations. (With a couple of weird exceptions, like being able to cradle, catch and throw with ease during Lacrosse. Too bad there was running involved, or I might've actually found my niche!) So, as is the case with geeks everywhere, I was always picked last. (I hope PE teachers have finally wised up to the cruelty inherent in such a system). Plus, for at least some of my school career, we had to wear these hideous one-piece, zipper-front, striped, blue and white (or more often, blue and dingy gray) gym uniforms, which, needless to say, reeked by the end of the week. We looked like convicts--and probably smelled worse.

2. Leaving Home. Pathetic case that I am, I continued to have separation anxiety (compounded by a strong case of hypochondria that only my mom could soothe) pretty much until high school. Lots of stomachaches, lots of calls to come pick me up, lots of absences. Luckily, it didn't affect my grades much.

3. Elementary School Cafeteria Rolls-or rather, their smell. I'll pretty much eat anything, including cafeteria food, but there was a kind of dinner roll my elementary school baked--and it had a very distinct aroma. I've only come across that particular smell a couple of times as an adult, but the negative olfactory connection is so strong that the smell induced nausea both times. It was a smell that permeated my elementary school and so I cannot separate the odor from the experience of school as a whole.

4. Recess-Yes, I may be the only person in the history of the world to dislike recess. I was so painfully shy and such a loner that I didn't really have anyone to play with after about 2nd grade. I therefore felt both left out and conspicuous. Recess, with it's lack of structure, was hell for me.

5. Wesley Bunch-The golden boy of my grade in elementary school. He had an angelic face, and a head full of cottony-soft, curly, blonde (and I mean tow-headed) hair. He thought he was da bomb (if that term had existed then). He was an obnoxious and annoying boy. He also had the temerity use the time we spent waiting in line to go into the library to spin himself dizzy, eventually falling down and cracking his chin open. A very large puddle of blood pooled below his pale, seemingly lifeless body. I almost threw up several times, was sick to my stomach the rest of the day and was utterly traumatized. Wesley came back to school with a bunch of stitches in his chin, hero status and the envy of every boy in our grade. (I'm sure he matured into a lovely adult, however.)

6. Math-I hated math and thought I was not that good at it. Until I hit 11th and 12th grades. Funny what a difference a GOOD math teacher can make.

7. Mean Girls-I don't think this needs an explanation. School-age girls can be vicious.

8. Riding the Bus-One year I was the last pick-up on the morning route. By the time I got on the bus, inevitably, all the seats were occupied by at least 2 people. The seats were ostensibly built for three--and maybe that works when you're 6 or 7, but when you're between the ages of 12 and 17, those seats are just too small for three people. This was horrible for me on two levels. First: No one wanted to share a seat with a third person, so every morning I had to piss someone off by asking to share a seat. Some kids were so unkind that they actually said no. For an exceedingly shy child, this daily humiliation amounted to torture of the most cruel and unusual kind. Second: I spent my bus ride with one butt cheek on and one butt cheek hanging precariously off the seat, trying to brace myself to keep from falling in the aisle and to keep my books from flying all over the bus as we whipped around corners and freeway off-ramps. It did help me understand some basic physics, though, albeit in a most personal and unpleasant way.

9. Stupid people-I guess in some ways I wasn't a terribly tolerant tot. (So my later shyness and the torture related thereto was perhaps karma coming back to bite me on the ass). I am ashamed now to say that the kids who just didn't get it annoyed me beyond belief, and having to go slowly for them bored me to tears. I'd like to think I'm a little more tolerant as an adult. Looking back and seeing my smug six-year-old self in the reading circle, impatient with kids who could barely sound their way through Tip The Dog, when I could have read it two years earlier does not make for a pretty picture. If possible, I was worse in kindergarten, where I scornfully refused to "read" what I now assume were the curricular pre-reading books because they didn't have any words, just pictures. (Think Good Dog, Carl, except with crappy illustrations and story lines).

10. Boys--This only lasted until late-middle school. I assume you can imagine the cause of my change of heart at around that time. Before that, though, boys just scared the life out of me. Having only sisters (and younger ones at that), I did not understand or know what to make of them and their strange and rowdy ways. Although I do remember having a crush on Robbie Ritchie in 2nd grade. . .not that I ever would have dared to talk to him.

Okay, now you've read my 10 things--it's time for you to share your 5 for a chance to win, and win big! And don't forget: linky-love and/or an extra 5 things will earn you extra chances. Go ahead, dredge up that past you thought (hoped) was forever buried in the darkest recesses of your memory. It's fun!

Random Bits and Tuesday Teasers

2008-08-26T23:59:00.000-07:00

From The-Kids-Truly-Will Fight-about-ANYTHING File:

Bella Bambina (the all powerful): "I could destroy the world if I wanted."
Boing-Boing: "No you couldn't."
Bella Bambina: "ANYONE could destroy the whole world if they wanted to."
Boing Boing: "Nuh-uh."
Bella Bambina (volume rising): "I could too destroy the whole world myself."
Boing Boing (angry): No, you couldn't.
Bella Bambina (screeching): Yes, I COULD!
Boing Boing (also screeching--it'll be so nice when his voice changes one day-then I'll be able to tell them apart in a screaming contest . . .): NO YOU COULDN'T.
Bella Bambina: COULD, TOO!
Boing Boing: COULD, NOT!
Bella Bambina: I CAN DO ANYTHING I WANT, SO THERE. (I guess the female empowerment message is getting through loud and clear. . .).
Boing Boing: NO. YOU. CAN'T. I'M TELLING MAMA (pause).....MAAAH-MAAAAH.....!
Me: Wha-at?
Boing Boing: [Bella Bambina] thinks she can destroy the whole world . . . ."

You get the picture.

__________________________________

And now, for the Tuesday Teasers:

Teaser Tuesdays, hosted at Should Be Reading, asks you to:

Two books again this week:

The first excerpt is from The Good Girl Revolution: Young Rebels with Self-Esteem and High Standards by Wendy Shalit. This book was included in the copious swag I received from the BlogHer Conference. I am less than a quarter of the way through the book and am enjoying it far more than I thought I would. We'll see if I feel the same way after reading the whole thing:

"They also distributed stickers reading F___K THE PATRIARCHY that seemed to be in conflict with the first set of stickers (unless they meant F___K THE PATRIARCHY literally)." Page 44

The second excerpt is from a book I've just started reading: No One You Know by Michelle Richmond.

"He raised an eyebrow. 'How did you know that?'
'I use the Yerba Buena on-ramp.'"

Teaser Tuesdays (Two Days Late)

2008-08-21T08:53:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the radio silence folks. It was a combination of feeling unmotivated AND being on jury duty. Luckily, I was kicked off a panel (via peremptory challenge) yesterday--and so am done with my civic duty for a year.

As I missed Tuesday's posting, I decided to post Tuesday's Teasers on Thursday this week. I love being the G-d of my own Blog!!

The rules again:

Teaser Tuesdays, hosted at Should Be Reading, asks you to:

Two books again this week.

The first is from a FANTASTIC book called My Most Excellent Year by Steve Kluger. It's targeted at the YA audience, but as far as I can tell, every adult who has read it LOVES it (personal anecdotes and 5-star reviews from everyone-no exceptions last time I looked-on Amazon). Another example of a the YA moniker being unduly restrictive. Oh, and it's three sentences, but it wouldn't make sense otherwise.

Dear Mama,
We have a science teacher at Laurents named Mr. Landey, and since his father is deaf he knows American Sign Language (they call it ASL). So I've been learning it from him every day after sixth period. I've already nailed the whole alphabet, even though I still get D and F mixed up (which really isn't a problem as long as I stay away from "duck"). (page 154)

Oh, and I can't resist a few more lines--again--I love being able to be the G-d of my blog.

Augie is falling in love with Andy Wexler.
Andy Wexler is falling in love with Augie.
Augie doesn't know that Andy is gay.
Andy doesn't know that Augie is gay (Hello?)
I'm glad I'm a girl. (page 69)

Gosh, there are so many great lines. . .I could just keep going. But I will stop myself here.

I continue on my Stephanie Meyer jag--but this time I'm reading a book NOT in the Twilight saga: Ms. Meyer recently wrote an adult science-fiction-ish book called The Host, from which the following quote comes (and I cheated on the length again):

I couldn't stop shivering. Jeb could only promise me now. There was no guarantee that Jared would not decide my secret was more important than protecting Melanie's body. I knew that such a fate would make me wish Ian had succeeded last night. (page 162)

Happy reading, folks.

Of Meat Raffles, Atheists and Billboards

2008-08-16T17:41:00.000-07:00

If you read the title of this post and said "Huh?," I'm right there with ya.

My family and I recently returned from a week at a cabin by a lake in Minnesota. It was, by the way, a fantastic experience, and one that was particularly valuable to my children, as they had freedom to roam in a way that would never be possible here in LA. I thought it was the coolest thing ever when I realized my kids were playing an indoor-outdoor game of hide-and-seek--and not one damn adult had to be out there watching them (nor were the kids asking for permission or for parental oversight--which they would have done here in the big, bad Orange). The lake by the cabin was beautiful, the sunsets amazing, the loons noisy and the mosquitos and black flies mercifully few.

Now, I don't mean to disrespect ANY Minnesotans out there--you are among the friendliest, politest people I've ever met outside of Canada--but your state does have a few, well, quirks.

First, there's the Meat Raffle. We found that "Meat Raffle" signs were practically ubiquitous in every town we passed through. If you think I'm making this up--you'd be wrong, wrong, wrong. We have photographic proof and I will post it if my husband ever downloads his photos and e-mails me the appropriate one. (It will happen, but don't go holding your breath, because I don't know exactly WHEN it will happen--I'd hate to see you pass out over meat--In the meantime, Google Images has come to the rescue).

Baffled? So were we. Were they actually raffling off meat? Everywhere? And would people actually spend money on raffle tickets just for MEAT? I don't know what your experience with raffles has been, but, at my kids' school, we could hardly get anyone to purchase raffle tickets for a CAR, so how on earth were they getting folks to ante up for meat? And not even guaranteed meat--but potential meat? Was there some sort of meat shortage which made raffled meat particularly desirable? Perhaps it was rare and unusual meat. Or maybe winning meat is just way more fun than my paltry imagination can handle.

My husband and I wondered if we were thinking about this thing too literally. But what else could a meat raffle be? Dirty birdy that I am, I wondered if "meat" was some sort of code for. . .um, how shall I put this. . .good old-fashioned beefcake? Visions of burly men danced through my head. Whoa, that WOULD make Minnesota a progressive state. . .

When we got home, I Googled "meat raffle." (Thank G-d for Wikipedia. EVERYTHING is in Wikipedia, except, for some reason, an entry on Hershey Felder.) If you want to read a little more (and I do mean little. After all, how much can you have to say on the subject of raffling meat?) about meat raffles, click here. As it turns out, what you see is what you get. Apparently, Minnesotans are wild about raffling meat. (The only other places mentioned as having regular meat raffles were Britain and Australia--called "meat trays" in the latter locale. I don't have any idea what Minnesota, with its largely Scandinavian history, has in common with GB or the Land Down Under, other their obvious propensity to gamble on animal flesh.)

Unfortunately, my husband and I were not able to participate in the meat raffle in the town in which we were staying. . .it turns out we were leaving before the big date.

Ach, it's probably just as well. We keep kosher at home, and I don't know that we'd have had much use for that big ole slab of pork. . .

Not that all was lost on the competition front, however; we did get to participate in the weekly turtle races--us and almost 500 other people. Yes, you read that number right. They happen every week during the summer and usually have around 500 participants. In a town with a non-tourist population of only 1,800+. And you know, some of those turtles can move surprisingly fast.

From what I've learned, Minnesota is a very civic-minded state--even down to its atheists. Nowhere was this more in evidence than on the Adopt-a-Highway signs, where one stretch of highway had been adopted by the Minnesota Atheists. I've traveled many a highway and interstate and have never, ever seen a stretch of road adopted by an atheist or group of atheists. Unfortunately, we couldn't get a photo of the sign as we sped by, nor could we turn around and go back because we had a plane to catch. Curious about this group, I looked it up on the internet--and it does, indeed, have its own website. The organization's motto? "Positive Atheism in Action." Only in Minnesota--where even the atheists are committed to social action.

All kidding aside, you should check out this group. They are seriously organized and seriously committed to doing good. And they all look so darned wholesome doing it, too. . . .

Now, we get to the billboards. These were among the weirdest billboards my husband and I had ever seen (and he's lived in Minnesota before). These ranged from numerous HUGE anti-abortion billboards (so much for being a progressive state), complete with large photos of fetuses and other (meant-to-be) heartwrenching pix and text (but which we found to be disturbing for other reasons), to lots of medical advertising. But not the sort of medical advertising you might have expected.

"Do you know how much YOUR colonoscopy will cost?",

one very large specimen practically boomed--as if G-d were speaking to us through the billboard (very LA Story-esque, but without the flashing lights, traffic and smog. Think the analog version). I sank down in my seat and felt ashamed: Um, well, no? Should I? I'm so. . .sorry. I must be terribly irresponsible.

Finally, Minnesota is such a WHITE (not to mention, blond) state. I haven't seen such an unbroken sea of white faces since. . .well. . . EVER. Although the Pacific Palisades comes close...but that's another story. I mean these people are WHITE (and I'm not talking skin tone--they do tan). I felt downright ethnic among this crowd. And all I am is Jewish (and pale, at that). Oddly enough, though, in the town in which we were staying, there did seem to be a high incidence of African-American or bi-racial babies and children attached to white parents. But there was nary a black adult in sight. Another Minnesota oddity? Who knows?

And that, dear class, was My Summer Vacation in Minnesota.

Bulletproof Bras

2008-08-16T15:45:00.000-07:00

As I said earlier, breasts are everywhere this week:

FINALLY, some equality in the workplace. . . . .

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/2565836/Female-police-officers-should-get-bulletproof-bras.html

Although the term "bulletproof bra" somehow brings to mind those pointy, torpedo-tit bras from the 1950s.

Bookworms Book Carnival

2008-08-13T18:56:00.000-07:00

Just a reminder that this month's Bookworms Carnival is up. To get the complete overview--see Florinda's site: http://www.3rsblog.com/2008/08/welcome-to-bookworms-carnival-14-youre.html.

But, first--and of course--read my entry below.

Happy Reading!

Teaser Tuesdays

2008-08-12T23:28:00.000-07:00

I've found this cool new meme (thanks to Florinda), called Teaser Tuesdays, hosted by Should be Reading. The "rules" forthwith:

TEASER TUESDAYS asks you to:

Leave a comment with your answers (if you don’t have a blog), or with a link to where your TEASER TUESDAYS post can be found!

** If you’re finding out about this event later in the week, you can still play along! **

I've got a few books in the fire, but I'll just post from 2. . .

The first is from Stephanie Meyer's recently released Breaking Dawn, the last installment of her Twilight series:

"'Imagine kissing that.'

My throat ripped into flames like pulling the cord on a hot air balloon." (p. 484)

The second is from Musicophilia by Oliver Sacks.

"But for some people, it may assume an elaborate, phantasmagoric form remarkable for its mimicry, antics, playfulness, inventions and unexpected and sometimes surreal associations. People with this rarer, phantasmagoric form of Tourette's may show much more complex reactions to music." (p. 227) [Yes, that is, indeed, only two sentences!]

An aside: It is hard to get relatively new hardbacks book to fall open randomly anywhere. Just so you know.

AHHHH, Bra!

2008-08-11T23:11:00.000-07:00

Boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs. I feel like it's been all boobs, all the time, lately. Everywhere I turn, somehow, boobs are coming up (or falling down). Online, in conversation, nothing but breast. There's even a very good chance that the LA Mom's Blog tag line will be tata-related. (Never fear; I will not reveal the tag until it is officially part of the masthead).

With that in mind, I'm going to commit what is probably the cardinal sin of blogging...re-visiting an old post. Okay, fine--so I'm simply copying an old post and using it here. It's still relevant, it's still true, and it is still (hopefully) funny. And since I really didn't have ANY readers when I posted it, probably no one has read it yet, anyway.

Here goes:

Never, never, never underestimate the power of a good bra. I had forgotten what wearing a good fitting bra can feel like--and let me tell you, at least in my rather limited life--it approaches heaven.

Because I have endured endless fertility treatments and borne two children over the last 10 years, my breasts have seen more fluctuations in size than Pamela Anderson's, on a WAY smaller--- make that a WAY, WAY, WAY, smaller--scale. I was going to say "seen more ups and downs" as opposed to "fluctuations in size," but frankly, the only direction in which my boobs are travelling lately is down. And that leads me to another question--how is it possible that someone with barely any, um, leverage, can sag? I never thought it could, much less would, happen to size 32 me, but hey apparently when it comes to National Geographic breasts, God has made sure not to discriminate among the sizes. Big, small, infitesimal, somehow gravity manages to grab ahold and pull. Hmm, do men stretch out like that? (And I'm not talking breasts). I do not think I want a visual survey.

Anyhow, it had been a couple of years since I'd bought new bras and my current ones were ill-fitting, constricting and uncomfortable. I let this go on for months until I just couldn't take it anymore. I had an unusual hour free during the day and popped into the local lingerie/bra store. You know the kind. The one with the old ladies who size you up apprasingly and manhandle your precious pearls into one sling after another, then personally rearrange them for the perfect effect. Sounds creepy--but it really is the breast, um, I mean the best. (Okay, that was just bad punning. So sorry). The sensation of suddenly having my breasts supported instead of squashed was liberating. It might sound counterintuitive to feel liberated while being contained, as it were, but it is much more liberating than just floating free. Ask any woman of a certain age--or bra size.

It's interesting, I've gone from hating padded bras (back in my perky days, when natural looked, well, natural AND good) to refusing to wear anything but padded bras. And there have been great strides made in bra technology. Man, I can go up a bra size, add killer cleavage and have it look like ME! Why anyone without a medical reason (say, mastectomy) would want to go under the knife when you can just walk into Saks and have a whole new set within minutes is beyond me. Cheaper, too.

Men simply do not understand the pleasure of a good fitting bra, although they have been known to appreciate the effects of a good bra. I was prancing around, gleefully re-trying on all my bras post-purchase, positively singing with joy, and my husband looked at me like I was an alien, albeit one with really good cleavage. . .which in turn led him to some leer-worthy ideas--most of which involved removing my bra. But he simply could not understand how good it felt to be wearing the bras.

The next day, in contrast, I mentioned to a friend who was visiting how great it felt, and she immediately knew what I was talking about and launched into her own story of her recent bra purchases. We bonded for a good half-hour over bras and boobs and mutual admiration of our newly supported assets. Now that's what friendship is all about.

Please help Jessica

2008-08-11T13:21:00.001-07:00

Please click on the link below and read all about my friend's sad saga. She really needs help clearing this issue up with Sheraton, and I guess she feels the (bad) publicity will help. The upside for you? It will make your shitty day feel like a cakewalk in comparison!

http://jessicagottlieb.com/2008/08/11/sheraton-lax-review/.

Jessica thanks you.

[I'll try to post something original later. . .]

The Continuing Saga of the Edible Insults

2008-08-10T21:42:00.000-07:00

For the, oh, say, two of you who regularly read my blog, you will remember that my kids have gotten quite creative with the insults. If you will recall, thus far we've had the kids calling each other an artichoke and an ice cube.

Well, grease up folks, because today my son got angry at my husband for lord knows what and called him (drumroll please. . . . .) a butterhead. Yep, butterhead. What the hell is a butterhead? Someone whose head you could fry an egg on? The closest I can figure was that he wanted to call DH a butthead, but then (wisely) thought better of it mid-word and changed it to butterhead.

Quick thinking, for a junior butterhead.

Confessions of a Kid Lit Lover

2008-08-09T18:18:00.000-07:00

I wrote "Confessions of Kid Lit Lover" for this month's Bookworms Carnival. This cross-blog, monthly event is organized and facilitated by Dewey at The Hidden Side of a Leaf, but each individual Carnival is conducted by a volunteer host--in this case my friend and fellow LA Moms Blogger, Florinda. She is hosting the carnival on her personal website, The 3 R's: Reading, 'Riting, and Randomness, where she has chosen the theme "You're Never Too Old - Children's and Young-Adult Literature." She will link to all the blogs participating in this month's event. So what are you waiting for? Mosey on over there for more good reading (AFTER you finish reading my post, if you please)! Her post is up now--so check it out!

It’s been a tough decision to make, but I think it is finally time for me to come out of the closet. To proclaim loudly and proudly: I LOVE children’s and young adult books. (Don’t worry, I love lit for grown-ups, too—I’m an equal-opportunity lit lover—I’m. . .I’m. . . .omniliterary—yeah, that’s it, omniliterary!).

Not that there’s anything wrong it.

I’ve held on to my favorite so-called “children’s books” all my adult life. And when and if they became too tattered to read, I replaced them. Of course, I told myself and others that I was doing it for my future children’s enjoyment. But I knew, deep down, it was for me and me alone. I couldn’t bear to part with (among many others) The Secret Garden, Anne of Green Gables (my mom's copy), From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler, Heidi, A Wrinkle in Time and Grimm’s and Anderson’s Fairy Tales (which were my father’s before mine). But I did feel embarrassed about my, um, attachments. I hid them in the bookcase in my storage room—safe from the prying eyes of friends and neighbors.

[An aside: I was overjoyed recently to discover that they are still printing these same editions of Grimm’s and Andersen’s Fairy Tales (my copies were printed in the 1940s)—complete with the original magical and sometimes frankly disturbing illustrations and text. It’s nice to know that at some time in the not-too-distant past, people did not feel the need to write “down” to children, that authors had enough faith in their audience to know that they’d understand—or get the help they’d need to understand—scary ideas, real language, real grammar, and—gasp—an elevated vocabulary.]

It didn’t help that my husband thought my attachment to many of the books in the young adult genre was an indication that my emotional development had stalled in adolescence—It was basically the same way he felt about me watching that late, lamented TV classic, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And really, the argument I made about watching Buffy—that, despite its seemingly childish (or rather, teen-focused,) subject matter, it was one of the best-written shows out there, applies equally to those purportedly childish or adolescent books I love—they are all incredibly well-written stories. And shouldn’t that be enough to make them universally appealing? Why are adults so prejudiced against stories about children or for children? A good story is a good story, dammit. Harry Potter, anyone? The Twilight Series? Kiki Strike?

Speaking of prejudices, in my childhood and adolescence, I noticed the grown-ups encouraging—whether intentionally or not—gender prejudice among books. I remember that in some grades at my school, the girls’ reading lists and the boys’ reading lists were different. While the boys were reading The Hobbit, the girls were reading. . .sheesh, I can’t even remember what we were reading-- Flowers for Algernon?? In any event, no boy wanted to be caught dead reading a “girls” book—and likewise, most girls were discouraged—or at least felt they were—from reading “boys” books. So, it never occurred to me to read books like The Lord of the Rings trilogy when I was young. I thought I wouldn’t find them interesting. That they were too boy-ish. Boy oh boy, was I wrong. When I finally got around to reading many of those “boy” books as an adult, I thought they were brilliant, and, quite frankly, I was angry as all get-out that the girls had missed out on a lot of fine literature because some grown-ups thought….I don’t know what they thought, because it doesn’t make one iota of sense to me. Could it have something to do with being raised in the conservative South? Who knows?

Considering my love of kid lit, it’s no surprise that I’ve particularly enjoyed revisiting old favorites and being introduced to new ones with my daughter and son, and I thank the literary gods who have granted me a child who, at nine-and-a-half years old, still wants me to read to her every night. In fact, I’ve loved some of the books we’ve read together so much that I’ve stayed up late to read on, long after my daughter has fallen asleep. I can’t help it. Trust me. You would want to know what happens next to Gregor the Overlander, too.

And it’s not just young adult books I love—there are so many picture books that bring me enormous pleasure (I found that the hardest part about writing this particular blog entry was having to leave OUT so many books that I adore)—some for their message, some for their humor, some for their artistry, and some—for all of the above reasons.

I think the best picture books are often like a good Disney (note that I said GOOD) or Pixar animated feature; the stories work on many different levels—having appeal (often for different reasons) to both adults and children of various ages. A great example of this can be found in Kevin Henkes’ Chrysanthemum--While the book is ostensibly about a little girl mouse (Chrysanthemum) who learns to love her name no matter what others think, much of the book pokes fun at adoring, hovering, hyper-intellectual parents. In any event, Chrysanthemum comes home from her first few days of school in tears because everyone has made fun of her name. While the text concentrates on Chrysanthemum’s parents (and in particular her mother) cheering her up, the illustrations show her father (in a lab coat) furtively reading books with titles like “The Inner Mouse, Vol . 1 Childhood Anxiety” and “A Rose by Any Other Name: Understanding Identity.” The first time I read this book, I almost snorted my nursing tea out my nose. I was also squirming in my glider with self-recognition. I’m sure the kids reading this book do not get most of the jokes—but it sure does make for enjoyable reading for parents! And what about Mo Willems? I don’t know an adult (or, at least, a parent) who has not been charmed by the Pigeon’s wide-eyed wheedling or failed to recognize themselves and their children in the Knuffle Bunny books (a fantastic mix of illustration and photography, by the way).

I don’t think it is an accident that so many brilliant New Yorker illustrators and cartoonists have written and illustrated children’s books. Humor, art—they are universal. There’s no reason an adult shouldn’t enjoy Bark, George (Jules Pfeiffer) as much as a child does. Then there are all those children’s books by William Steig, Ian Falconer, Syd Hoff, Harry Bliss and Jon Agee, to name a few.

Sometimes the artwork alone in children’s books just blows me away—Elisa Kleven’s books are a riot of color and detail. (When I was pregnant with my second child—her The Lion and the Little Red Bird never failed to make me cry. My daughter thought I was insane!).

And that guy up there on the pedestal? The one with worshippers bowing awestruck at his feet? That’s Robert Sabuda. He’s in a class by himself. I don’t think there’s any disputing that his popup books exemplify artistry (and engineering) at the highest level. Each of his works is breathtaking, and I cannot resist opening every page of every work he’s ever published. I suspect that, in this case, adults may admire his books even more than kids do.

I also appreciate the subversive nature of some children’s picture books. At the same time that she makes a fairly noncontroversial point about the necessity of beauty in the world, Barbara Cooney, in her book Miss Rumphius, also paints a somewhat revolutionary picture of an adventurous, independent-minded woman of a previous era who lives a very full life without ever having married. (Although I do think there's something fishy about Miss Rumphius’s relationship with the married Bapa Raja. His wife stands in the doorway of their home, grimacing, surrounded by children, including one babe on hip, while the Bapa Raja gives Miss Rumphius a gift handpainted with the words “You will always be in my heart.” Maybe I'm off-base here, but I’m thinkin’ the Bapa Raja was the John Edwards of his fishing village. . .).

A while ago, I thought that one of the happier moments of my life was when I was able to walk into Children’s Book World and not feel like some sort of, um, deviant, because I finally had a “legitimate” reason to be there. . .my children. (Oh dear, does that mean my children were my literary “beard?” Ick.). Well, I don’t need that crutch anymore. I stride proudly into Children’s Book World to purchase books for myself. Books that aren’t even arguably appropriate for my children. . .yet.

Now leave me alone. I’ve got to get started on My Most Excellent Year, dude.

John Edwards is a Putz

2008-08-09T00:37:00.000-07:00

What an IDIOT. Why can't these guys keep their dicks in their pants???? Did Edwards really think he could get elected president and not have the press ferret this out?? Okay, clearly he's not only an idiot, he is also a delusional idiot. I realize power is attractive and that many of these guys have women basically throwing themselves at them left and right. But can't they exercise SOME self-control? Maybe we should be adding saltpeter to their Wheaties.

Punditmom does a bang up (tee hee) job of covering this issue here. Most people posting comments there are either pissed off, disappointed or both.

Here is my comment on her post:

"Surprisingly, I find myself unsurprised. I'm beginning to think there isn't a (male) politician out there who can keep his fly closed. I also think that, like all the other celebrities out there (ugh), when politicians reach a certain stature, they can become arrogant, conceited and self-oriented. After all, how many of them are surrounded by people who are honest with them? Who will tell them "no"? Who will tell them they're being idiotic and stupid? Not too many, I surmise. At some point, these public figures no longer believe that the rules for mere mortals apply to them. Either that, or they have a subconscious wish to be brought down. . .

I'm not really all that interested in the sex lives of our leaders--as long as they are generally competent AND not lying to us about it. It's the lying that really gets me. And yes, someone who's banging someone other than his spouse and yet holds himself out as a family man--a paragon of virtue--is most definitely lying to us."

Sigh.

Damn you to Hell, Hungry Girl

2008-08-07T09:39:00.000-07:00

Okay--I, like many others out there in the internet ether, rely on Hungry Girl to help us choose healthier (I don't say healthy--b/c she is most definitely NOT a health foodie) eating options--lower calorie, lower sugar, higher fiber options.

Anyhow, this only works if you know how to control yourself. Unfortunately, in some cases at least, I do not. HG recently posted about a new product, Newtons Fruit Crisps --from the fab folks who bring us Fig Newtons. Ever since I read her post, I've been scouring the stores for these morsels of deliciosity.

Much to my regret, I found them yesterday at Gelsons. And the apple ones, at least, live up to HG's ecstatic commentary. (The berry ones are good, but not so good that I can't control myself around them). They have a kind of flaky, crunchy crust and a yummy apple pie-y filling. Each individual pack contains 100 calories and far less sugar than one would expect. Now that's all well and good--if--as HG expects--we can limit ourselves to one pack at a time.

I. Cannot. Stop. Eating. Them.

Each bite of crunchy, chewy goodness makes me crave more. I suspect it rather defeats the purpose of eating health-ier, if I'm eating the entire BOX in one sitting. (And this stuff isn't even chocolate!!) I want them for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I want them INSTEAD of breakfast, lunch and dinner.

I hate you Hungry Girl, for giving me the goods, but not the tools to control my consumption of said goods. You're leading me into the flabby arms of temptation--and now I need to be exorcised (and, yes, exercised, too. Bah-dum-bah.)

Caveat Emptor, everyone. You buy these at your own risk. Your taste buds may thank you, but your waistline will not.

Now, you go right ahead and have yourselves a great day, y'hear?

Update

2008-07-26T17:23:00.000-07:00

After I get back from vacay, one of my goals (after getting darling daughter off to camp) is to update my blog so that people can actually find it, subscribe to it, etc. This is all new to me. . .but I'm learning, slowly. I am seriously tech-challenged so bear with me through the inevitable snafus.

I think I may have come up with a new name for my blog, too. It'll probably be a while before I'm able to implement it, though. . .

Cheers.

Better in Bed

2008-07-26T11:31:00.000-07:00

Thanks and Be Praised--we women now have one more reason to don our high heels.

I was in the bathroom (TMI?) and, at a loss for reading material, turned to my husband's copy of Esquire magazine. What an enlightening read. Did you know that wearing high heels can make women better in bed by strengthening our pelvic muscles?

Well, according to a list Esquire intern Nicole Tourtelot compiled of "Ten Things Luke Simons Doesn't Know About Women" in the August issue of Esquire, that is indeed true. It's No. 5 on the list, to be exact. (I'd link to the article, but the August issue does not appear to be online yet. When and if this part of the issue goes up--and if I remember--I'll try to add the link). Gee, I'm so glad I just bought those two new pairs of Manolos...and now maybe my husband will be, as well. (Ha!). Can't you picture the scene in bedrooms across America?

Husband, irked: "I can't believe you just bought more shoes. Do you REALLY need another pair of heels? How much is it going to set me back this time?"

Wife: "But honey, these shoes will make me better in bed; they strengthen my pelvic muscles."

Husband, eyes grown cloudy and panting with lust: "Oh, well, in that case, okay. Now strap 'em on and let's get to work, baby. . ."

Yeah. Right.

Too bad Ms. Tourtelot doesn't mention that while our pelvic muscles are being strengthened, our knees, backs and feet are being shot to hell. Any of you tried to do it with a strained back? Strong pelvic muscles ain't gonna help. Nothing short of Vicodin is going to help in that case. And what does she mean "better in bed"? Better for us? Better for our partners? Perhaps mutually advantageous?

The above also begs the question: Who the Hell is Luke Simons and Why Should We Care? Apparently, in the June issue of Esquire, actress Kim Cattrall compiled a list of "10 Things You Don't Know About Women." Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending upon your viewpoint, I suppose), reader Luke Simons complained that he already knew all ten and wanted Ms. Cattrall to come up with another ten. Since Ms. Cattrall wasn't available, Ms. Tourtelot stepped up to the plate. Now this goes to show that, just because an actress's two main roles are/were as sexpots (Miss Cattrall plays Samantha in Sex and the City (duh), and, lest you've forgotten, she also played the howling Ms. Honeywell in that 1982 movie classic, Porky's), it does not make her an expert on sex. As much as she'd like you to think otherwise. Ponder a moment. Rock Hudson played the quintessential 50s-60s hunk. Um, would you want to rely on him for advice about women? (about men, maybe, but you get the picture--movie roles do not experts make. . .).

As to all of us moms out there, maybe it's just me, but I suspect the only thing WE really want to be better in our beds is SLEEP.

The Thin, Blue Whine

2008-07-25T19:01:00.000-07:00

Wow. It feels like I do nothing but complain about how busy I am. So busy I can't post. But, dammit, it's true. Especially true this week. No sooner do I get home from BlogHer than I have to start getting ready for a weeklong family trip (with all the in-laws) to Minnesota--Land o' Lakes and mosquitos. (West Nile Virus anyone? I'm so paranoid that I've purchased three or four different brands of mosquito repellent. Approach me at your peril, you bloodsuckers, 'cause I'm armed and dangerous. Not to mention premenstrual. And if you think for a moment I'm going to let you anywhere near my precious children, you're in for a rude awakening. Or rude squashing, if you want to get technical about it. But isn't all mosquito squashing, by it's very nature, rude? To the mosquitos, that is. Hmm. I wonder, did I take my meds today???) And two days after we get home from Minnesota, my daughter leaves for her first stint ever at sleep-away camp. That should be an immensely relaxing two days.

Basically, what this all means is that for the past two-and-a-half weeks or so, in addition to all my other home responsibilities, which are too numerous to, well, enumerate, I've been trying to get everything ready for three trips. Oh, and did I mention that we're planning to remodel part of our house and refurnish the whole durn thing? I've been working on that, too. I won't bore you with the list of all the other shit I do and don't get paid for. Most of you SAHM's already know all about it.

Long, whiny story short(ish), I've had a ton of ideas and no time to write. I'm hoping (am I nuts?) that during our stay in Minnesota I will be be able to slip away and do some writing. I've already asked my husband to step up to the plate with the kids once in a while. He's agreed. It remains to be seen whether and how this agreement--now theoretical--will translate to reality. I have to say, I'm skeptical, as our respective conceptions of "stepping up to the plate" probably differ wildly. You know, the whole "you say po-tay-toe, I say po-tah-toe" thing. (Which I infinitely prefer to the Mars/Venus comparison. I don't know if you've read the original Mars/Venus book, but I came away feeling as if the author was, if not a misogynist, then a self-centered male apologist looking for a way to get women to bear the lion's share of emotional responsibility in a relationship. But hey, that's just my impression. I did mention I was premenstrual, did I not?)

I just hope I can remember all the various topics I've been wanting to tackle. Sadly, so much time has passed that some may not even be relevant any longer. Grrr. This is the first time in my life that I've been dying to write . . .and now I find I don't have time to do it.

Whether I write or no, I don't think I'll have internet access while I'm away--so no postings. Perhaps I'll have a whole backlist when I get home that I'll simply be able to plug in the appropriate places. . .

Okay--got some bedtime child-wrangling to do. No more writing tonight.

Ha! That certainly brings this post full-circle, doesn't it?

In the immortal words (abbreviation? acronym?) of Tigger--

TTFN-- to one and all.

Take action

2008-07-23T10:45:00.001-07:00

Okay, this is kind of a cheat in terms of posting--but it's worth noting and taking action on:

From: Commission on the Status of Women <info@women.ca. gov>
Date: July 22, 2008 3:42:34 PM PDT
To: alert@women. ca.gov
Subject: HEALTH ACCESS ALERT: Call Today (NEW #s) to Prevent Health
Budget Cuts
Reply-To: "Alert ListServe" <alert@women. ca.gov>

>> Forwarded for your information by the California Commission on the
>> Status of Women:
>>
>>
>> HEALTH ACCESS ALERT
>> Tuesday, July 22nd, 2008
>>
>>
>> CALL LEGISLATORS TODAY TO PREVENT HEALTH BUDGET CUTS
>> CALL TODAY: For Senators: 800-480-3958; For Assemblymembers:
>> 800-960-7682 (A previous Health Access Alert had a wrong #)
>> Urge Lawmakers to Support the Revenues Needed to Prevent
>> Devastating Cuts to Health Care and Other Vital Services;
>> Hanging in the Balance: Severe Cuts to Medi-Cal Eligibility,
>> Benefits,& Provider Rates Unless Loopholes Closed and Revenues
>> Raised;
>> Taxes Needed to Prevent Cuts, and Undo Other Cuts: Even Compromise
>> Budget Would Cut Children's Coverage: More Than a Quarter-Million
>> Kids to Lose Insurance
>> Click Here for What's New on the Health Access WeBlog: More on the
>> Budget Battle; New Television Ads on the Health Budget Cuts; Update
>> on Rescissions with Blue Cross and Blue Shield; SB840 Re-Emerges;
>> High-Risk Policies and MRMIP; Controlling Health Costs; California
>> Children Losing Coverage
>>
>>
>> ALERT: TODAY, Tuesday, July 22nd, health advocates and all
>> Californians are being urged to call their state legislators to
>> voice opposition to the health care budget cuts, and to get other
>> friends and colleagues to do the same.
>>
>> At stake are devastating health care budget cuts that would:
>> * leave one million more Californians uninsured--a majority of whom
>> are children;
>> * require 3.5 million Californians- -largely low-income parents,
>> seniors, and people with disabilities- -to pay more for health care,
>> or get less in terms of specific health care benefits;
>> * make deep and destabilizing cuts to the health care system we all
>> rely on, including 10% across-the-board cuts to the emergency
>> rooms, hospitals, clinics and doctors that we all, by age or
>> accident, will eventually use.
>> We need to close the loopholes and raise the revenues and taxes
>> needed to prevent these severe cuts to our health system.
>>
>> ACTION #1: CALL THE TOLL-FREE HOTLINE TODAY:
>> To Reach State Senators: 800-480-3958
>> To Reach Assemblymembers: 800-960-7682
>> (A previous alert had a wrong number listed.)
>> Call Both!
>> You will be connected to your state legislative office, and can
>> leave a message for your state Assemblymember or Senator.
>> You can tell them why it is crucial for the state budget to prevent
>> the worst of the cuts with revenues, and why it is so important to
>> you, your family, and your community.
>> You can urge them to raise additional revenues to undo the worst of
>> the cuts already approved, especially to children's coverage-where
>> a quarter-million children would be denied coverage as a result of
>> the cuts.
>> ACTION #2: FORWARD THIS ALERT WITHIN YOUR ORGANIZATION, MEMBERSHIPS
>> AND AT LEAST FIVE FRIENDS IN CALIFORNIA. We need as many
>> Californians as possible to register their opposition to these
>> severe budget cuts.
>>
>> BACKGROUND: The budget is already late, and we need our legislators
>> to take action NOW in order to protect our state's future! Votes
>> will be taken in the next few weeks.
>>
>> The compromise budget proposed by the Conference Committee did
>> reject--for now--many draconian cuts in health care, that would
>> have resulted in over one million more Californians not getting
>> health coverage as a result of the budget, and three and a half
>> million Californians having to pay more and/or get less in terms of
>> care and coverage.
>>
>> Because no cut or restoration is final until a budget is approved,
>> all cuts are still on the table until both parties in the
>> Legislature can agree on taxes. The Conference Committee budget
>> relies on over $9 billion in raised revenues in order to prevent
>> other cuts.
>>
>> REAL CUTS, ESPECIALLY TO CHILDREN'S COVERAGE: Yet even under this
>> Democrat-supported budget, health care, and in particular
>> children's coverage, gets hit hard. Even with the additional
>> revenues raised, more than a quarter-million children are expected
>> to lose coverage if this version of the budget is fully implemented.
>>
>> The cuts approved that would impact children's health coverage
>> include:
>> Imposing additional paperwork burdens so millions of children need
>> to have their families file reports every six months, rather than
>> annually, to keep their Medi-Cal coverage-- leading over 250,000
>> children to fall off coverage under full implementation by 2011.
>> For more info, read the 100% Campaign report on the impacts here.
>> Increasing premiums in the Healthy Families program, which not only
>> imposes additional costs on hundreds of thousands of families, but
>> likely leads tens of thousands of children to fall off coverage.
>> Suspending streamlining and enrollment reforms, which were passed
>> into law two years ago--SB437(Escutia) with fanfare in an attempt
>> to get tens of thousands of more children who are currently
>> eligible but unenrolled into the program.
>> Additional revenues would be needed to prevent these cuts.
>>
>> REVENUES PROPOSED AT THIS POINT:
>>
>> The compromise budget proposal from the Conference Committee
>> includes the following sources of revenue that will prevent the
>> harshest of the proposed cuts to vital services. The proposal will:
>>
>> · Restore corporate tax rates to the pre-1997 level ($470
>> million). The proposal also suspends for three years the option
>> for corporations to carry forward net operating losses and use as a
>> deduction in future years ($1.1 billion).
>> · Restore upper-income tax brackets to similar levels set
>> by Governor Wilson, impacting households earning above $321,000
>> ($5.6 billion). A dependent credit for households over $150,000
>> would also be rolled back ($215 million) and an adjustment to tax
>> tables will be suspended, meaning families over $97,000 would pay
>> about $180 more yearly ($815 million).
>> · Step up tax enforcement through an amnesty program for
>> money owed to the state, based on a previously successful program
>> ($1.5 billion).
>>
>> These revenues and other such options have been opposed by some
>> legislators, who favor either much steeper cuts to health care and
>> other vital services, or borrowing that would force cuts in future
>> years. That's why legislators need to hear about support against
>> these cuts and for the revenues that would replace them.
>>
>> AGAIN: CALL BOTH TOLL-FREE HOTLINES TODAY:
>> To Reach State Senators: 800-480-3958
>> To Reach Assemblymembers: 800-960-7682
>> (A previous Health Access alert had a wrong
>> number listed.)
>>
>> Health Access will continue to track budget developments as they
>> occur, including posting fact sheets and materials on our website,
>> at:
>> http://www.health- access.org/ index.htm

--
Commission on the Status of Women
1303 J St Ste 400
Sacramento CA 95814-2900
916-445-3173
916-322-9466 Fax
www.women.ca. gov

BlogHer Report 2--Wrap up

2008-07-22T11:53:00.001-07:00

Well, BlogHer is over, and I didn't get a chance to post anything else while I was there. The event was alternately enlightening, fun, tedious and exhausting. I met some really nice and interesting people--but had I been feeling less shy, I probably would have met more. I think there were about a thousand attendees--most of whom were women. . .who knew what a force we are? I guess I should have figured that out when I saw the huge amount of swag, as well as all the other things the exhibitors and sponsors prepared for us. For goodness sake. . .there was a Sesame street lounge--with a set-- where we got to be taped (or dvd'd, as it were) with one of the muppets (Grover or Abby Cadabby). They also had the best food. Quite a spread at all times. Ostensibly the Street folks were there to draw attention to new parental features on their website. That's all fine and good, but how can you really compare that with a conversation with Grover? You can't. No competition.

Because I am, as always pressed for time, here are a few random thoughts I had about the event:

1. One of the coolest things about BlogHer was the age-range of the attendees. The youngest I saw was a girl of 15 (I eavesdropped on a conversation she and the woman beside me were having at one of the panel discussions). At the other end of the spectrum, there were also a significant number of women in attendance who could have been grandmothers. And we were all there together, mixing it up, with more in common, perhaps, than we might otherwise have known.

2. You don't have to go to all the panels and forums. Some are boring, some are helpful--but I learned not to feel guilty about not hitting everything. Quite frankly, it was exhausting enough as it was. Anyone who thinks she is getting a nice relaxing break from home life when she attends one of these conferences may have another thing coming. The first day, I took my lunch and went to my room to eat and take care of some things. And to be alone. I decided I'd close my eyes for a few minutes, then head to the next panel. Well, 2 hours or more later I awoke. At first I felt panicked and guilty. Here I'd paid all this money for this conference. I came to learn--and yet I (unintentionally) ditched class. Ultimately, I decided it was probably better that I slept if I was so tired. In the end, there was only one panel I missed that I regretted not attending. And surprise, surprise, the world did not come to an end.

3. Like any other conference, BlogHer is as much about networking as anything else. I need to get my skills up to date. My poor husband had to fed ex my business cards to me, as I accidentally forgot to pack them. And if you don't have cards--woe unto you.

4. There is a whole commercial side of blogging that I was not aware of. Whether I choose to go that route remains to be seen. I started this blog because I wanted to write. Would I like it to lead to other writing opportunities? Perhaps something paid? Absolutely, yes. But I don't know if I want to invest the time it takes to fully commercialize my site. (Not that it particularly lends itself to that at this point anyway). Some people actually make their living from their blogs. Go figure.

5. There is so much out there on the internet and in the Blogosphere that I knew nothing about. I'm slightly more well-versed, but I still have a long, long way to go.

6. It was immensely ironic that the wifi internet connection worked so poorly at BlogHer. After all--we were all there BECAUSE of the internet--and yet, there were times we could not access it to post to our blogs, answer e-mails or whatever. Very frustrating.

7. You could tell the event was planned by women: Among other things, childcare was included and there was a Lactation Lounge. It was also extremely well-organized. Now how hard does it have to be for others to follow suit?

8. The folks who run the Silicon Valley Moms blog and their sister publications are fantastic, give great swag AND know how to throw the best parties. They arranged so many wonderful things for us to do, parties to go to, etc. My personal favorite was the makeover and headshot at Saks. Each and every one of us in attendance (there were over 100 of us, I believe) could participate in that event, free of charge.

9. I am too old for loud music and nightclubs. I am also going deaf in my right ear.

10. I am more creative when I don't drink. Ask the folks at Chevrolet.

11. There are a huge number of impressive women out there--who apparently never sleep if they do all the things they seem to.

12. Not everyone in attendance was bright or a good writer. Whew. And some folks clearly forgot their lithium.

13. As with many things in life, luck and timing probably play a large role in who is super-successful (whether you define that from the standpoint of numbers of readers or money made) in this sphere. There are some folks who are talented, but who are not clearly that much more talented than many other unknown bloggers out there. Right place, right time--it still means something.

Okay, that's enough randomness for now. I will hopefully have something more interesting and better written for you in the near future. Of course, I am going out of town for a week starting Sunday, and I don't know whether I'll be able to even access a computer.

Toodles.

Whining

2008-07-19T08:52:00.000-07:00

I'm still at BlogHer, but gotta get dressed and run out for the morning sessions. In going through my e-mail, however,I found the following FANTASTIC article about whining, what it means and how to handle it. I recommend it highly to every one (Shout out to Debra Diamant on the Peachhead yahoo group (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/peachhead2) for pointing out the link.)

http://www.handinhandparenting.org/csArticles/articles/000000/000032.htm.

BlogHer Report 1: BlogHer or BlogWhore?

2008-07-18T10:10:00.000-07:00

Here I am at BlogHer--it's barely begun, and I'm actually beginning to feel more like a BlogWhore, than a BlogHer. I've been here less than 24 hours, and I've received 4 (large) bags of swag so far, as well as stuff from some exibitors, including a free bluetooth headset. And I haven't even visited all the exhibitors. Not only that, I've won an Ipod Nano and an insulated bottle holder. If I'm feeling bored or motivated later, I might just try to list all the shit I've gotten. I'm gonna have to ship it home.

Mind you the first session hasn't even started yet. I'm sure the sessions will prove to be very helpful, especially to a newbie like me. My first educational session is going to be a blogging basics discussion-which lord knows I need. And maybe once I start learning things, then I won't feel like this is as much of a boondoggle as it at first appears to be. Besides, what good is guilt going to do me? As my new friend Amy at Selfish Mom says: "Guilt is a useless fucking emotion." (Apparently, that's a direct quote from Kyra Sedgwick).

I guess the guilt stems from knowing that these folks want me to blog about their stuff (Ha! Joke's on them. . .I barely have traffic at this point). I feel so. . . .USED (hand to forehead). Seriously, though, here's what I've decided to do: If I really, really like something--I'll mention it. But if I don't, or it's not something I can use--I'll remain mum. Seems simple enough. Some of the swag I'll recycle or give away. That way, at least, I'll feel like I'm maintaining at least a little of my integrity, such as it is.

I've got to go to my first session--I'll post when I can--but it'll be unedited, so bear with me if you can.

Next--the irony of not being able to connect to the internet while attending BlogHer.

Ciao.

BlogHer

2008-07-16T12:49:00.000-07:00

I'm off to San Francisco tomorrow for the big BlogHer conference. If you don't know what BlogHer is, check it out. I don't have time to explain more. I should be doing grocery shopping, getting birthday presents, making a detailed schedule for my housekeeper and clueless husband and, um, packing. . .Instead I've spent hours reading and responding to blogs. How the fuck does ANYONE get stuff done in the blogosphere.? Anyhow, don't know how much I'll be posting from SF--talk at ya soon.

Satire or Insult?

2008-07-15T23:29:00.000-07:00

I should be going to bed now. But I'm rather intrigued by the whole brouhaha (what IS the etymology of THAT word?) surrounding this week's New Yorker cover. In case you've been hiding under a rock (believe me, you don't need to be a New Yorker reader to have seen this one; it's plastered across every news outlet of repute--or ill-repute), the cover features Barack Obama in full Muslim garb in what appears to be the oval office (well, the walls are curved. . .) along with his wife, Michelle, in terrorist/camo togs. They are fist to fist--power dapping--whatever you want to call it. Over the mantle is a pic of Bin Laden and in the fireplace burns an Amercian flag. If you're curious, you can check out the image in any number of papers or on many blogs. The LA Times website has a particularly easy-to-view image, here.

I hadn't had much time to read the paper or review the news online until this evening. I did, however, pull the much-maligned New Yorker cover (along with the rest of the magazine) out of my mailbox. A quick glance had me chuckling before I chucked the periodical onto my towering pile of unopened mail. (After all, the orthodontist waits for no magazine, not even one as venerable as the New Yorker).

Full disclosure--I love Barry Blitt, who is responsible for this cover. His cover of Ahmadinejad sitting on the can, with a sandaled foot creeping into his stall from the one next to it might be one of my all-time favorites--truly a classic. When I need cheering up, I just pull out that cover and begin to feel better pronto.

Now, as I said, my first response was amusement. Then I opened my newspaper. I must say, initially, I was surprised at the outcry this cover evoked. Although I suppose I should not have been. At the risk of sounding elitist (whoo-hoo, guess Barack and I have something in common!!), it seemed pretty apparent that it was meant to be satire, but I had forgotten how literal much of the U.S. population is. People just didn't get it. I felt superior. For a little while.

Then I began thinking it through a bit more--specifically as regards the Obamas' reactions to the cover. At first I thought--enh, Barack should've just laughed it off, recognizing it for the satire it was--and I still think that may have been the best way to handle it, whether he honestly felt that way or not. BUT then I put myself in his and Michelle's shoes (G-d forbid---luckily, my husband's past pretty much precludes any attempts at running for higher public office. Nothing horrible, just, well, you know, he grew up in the 70s...).

How many of us, after having been repeatedly and wrongly accused of all sorts of heinous things would be able just to laugh it off? I don't know about you, but if I'm falsely accused of something often enough, I tend to get defensive. More defensive than I might be under other circumstances. A one-time comment is easy enough in most cases to dismiss. But when you've been attacked time and again, it becomes harder to do that. Think about it in these terms: Say your spouse has wrongly accused you of something--adultery, forgetting to scoop the dog's poop, leaving the toilet seat up AGAIN, whatever--not once, but many, many times. I suspect you'd start to get a little sensitive, a little defensive, a little prickly, when the subject came up the next time, even if it was in the context of a joke.

Viewed this way, Barack's terse response ("no comment") and the negative response of his camp seem fairly understandable. We could debate all day whether his reaction was the "right" way to handle the situation. But in the end, he--and his camp-- just proved that they are human, with all the feelings and failings that come with it. And that, I think, is forgivable (as long as your finger isn't on the button . . .if you know what I mean).

I'd love to hear (read?) what you think about the cover controversy. Comment below, and I'll ante up a copy of one of Barack's books--either The Audacity of Hope or Dreams from My Father. Your choice. Winner will be selected at random. Which means I'll either draw names out of a hat, or just close my eyes and point at the screen.

Addendum: For those who actually do want to learn the etymology of the word "brouhaha," I found the following on the Online Etymology Dictionary:

brouhaha: 1890, from Fr. brouhaha (1552), said to have been, in medieval theater, "the cry of the devil disguised as clergy." Perhaps from Heb. barukh habba' "blessed be the one who comes," used on public occasions.

Welsh Rarebit

2008-07-13T21:12:00.000-07:00

Correction: I just found out the Welsh Rarebit bit (see meme below) actually came from Gomer Pyle USMC, not The Dick Van Dyke Show. I know we'll all rest easier knowing the truth.

Take a Gander

2008-07-12T21:24:00.000-07:00

Click on this video: http://www.vimeo.com/1211060. My friend Lisa sent it to me, and I have to agree with her. You can't watch it and be depressed at the same time. Thanks Lisa S.!

Learning Curve: Memes and the ABCs of MeMe.

2008-07-12T15:21:00.000-07:00

Wow--I'm really speeding along the whole blogging learning curve. A few weeks ago, I was barely posting on my own site. Now, I'm contributing to LA Moms Blog. A few weeks ago, I had no idea the thing called BlogHer even existed. Now, I'm going to the big BlogHer Conference in SF. (Which, I am sure, will result in some more, well, blogging, on my part!). I've learned about blogrolls, technorati tags, and today--memes (pronounced "meem")--although really, it's the bloggers' definition of meme, not the "real" philosophical meaning of meme. We're not talking Richard Dawkins's memetics.

Anyhow, I saw an A-B-C meme today, so I decided to spread the wealth. You, too can write all about yourself in A-B-C form--go for it. Comment below with a link to your own A-B-Cs. As for me, (or me me), you know how I love these little exercises in narcissism.

So, here are my ABCs of MeMe:

A=Ass. Mine is bigger and spongier than I'd like, although, of course, I do love my body just as it is. (Ha)! Also for ADD, which I discovered as an Adult that I suffer from (along with split infinitives and dangling prepositions).

B=Bellvue. Where I feel I'm headed at the end of a long day with overtired, cranky and all-round ornery kids. Also for Bickering--which is what my kids do when they are overtired, cranky and all-round ornery. Finally for Bitch--which I become at the end of a long day with overtired, cranky and all-round ornery kids.

C=Chocolate. Preferably dark. The true love of my life. It rarely disappoints. Although I do think Hershey's kisses taste like vomit, and Hershey's milk chocolate tastes like somebody burned the milk.

D= Darling Daughter. 9 going on 13. Comes complete with eyerolling, artistic ability and an intelligence that far surpasses mine. Also Dogs--I have and I love.

E=Easy. Nothing in my life worth having has ever come easy. Unfortunately.

F=Fuck. Not the act--the word. Now that I have kids, I miss being able to curse like a sailor. Don't know where I picked it up, as my parents were the antithesis of cursers. I've just always liked it. Maybe that's why I initially became a litigator. They curse--a lot. . .F also stands for--Forty and over. Sigh.

G=Good Girl. What I was (mostly) when I was growing up. Despite what my parents think. (If they only knew what everyone else was doing). . .Bad girl didn't happen until I left home. Also, Genius--what my husband and kids are. Really.

H=Hell. What practicing law was for me. Also for Hair--which I love to change (cut and color) as often as I can, much to the annoyance of my third H, otherwise known as Husband. Also, Hypochondriac. Woody Allen's got nuttin' on me.

I=Infertility. It sucks.

J=Jokes. I am the world's WORST joke teller. Can't remember one entire joke to save my life (except for one old knock-knock joke and one nun-in-a-blender joke from my childhood). I love humor, though. Make me laugh, and I 'm yours. Well, If I weren't already married.

K=Krispy Kreme doughnuts. I grew up on them before they franchised themelves to death. Nothing like an early Sunday morning with a piping hot glazed doughnut straight out of the oven.

L=Late Bloomer. See entry at "G" above. I was also a late bloomer in many other ways. Probably still am. Also stands for Los Angeles=where I Live now.

M=Mother--one of the few things in life I knew for certain I always wanted to be. I also have one, in case you're wondering. Can also stand for Messy--which I have always been, and am afraid always will be.

N=Nice. It's nice to be nice. But it gets boring being called nice all the time. Also--Nose. Is anyone actually ever happy with his or hers? Finally, it stands for Nap--one of my all-time favorite things to do. (See "Y" below).

O=Orion, the only constellation I can pick out in the night sky. Thank goodness for his belt. (And no, I can't even pick out the Big or Little Dippers). Also for Orgasm. They're pleasant, aren't they?

P=PMS. I wish I didn't suffer from it (although don't accuse me of it, or I'll bite your head off). Also, Perimenopause--when PMS gets worse.

Q=Queen-size bed. I much prefer the East Coast King to a Queen, although my first real "grown-up" bed was a Queen.

R=Reading. My other passion and best companion since, well, forever.

S=Sweet. The word applied to me in just about every yearbook entry from middle school on up. "You're a sweet girl." "Stay sweet." Gag. But that was probably because I was horrifically Shy as a kid. So what else would someone have to write about me? It's not as if I talked to anyone. Also for Son--I have one of those, too, and a bigger 6-year-old flirt you've never met. He's off-the-charts smart and a fine piano player, too.

T=Tea. I'm obsessed with it. I find it hard to end the day without a cuppa. Also Teeth--did you know I never had to have braces? I really longed for a retainer, though. I thought they were sex-ay.

U=U-Haul. I still have nightmares about moving out of dorm rooms and apartments. Also, University of Virginia, my undergrad alma mater. Otherwise known as Mr. Jefferson's Academical Village.

V=Values. Try raising your kids with good ones in LA. I dare you. Also, Vapid--which covers many a pretty face in LA. Finally, Virginia--my birthplace. (What, you thought I was going to tell you when I lost my virginity?--Fat effin' chance! My parents read this blog.)

W=Warm--the way I like my Weather and my bread. Also-War--which scares the shit out of me. Finally, Welsh Rarebit. I don't know why. It just popped into my head. I think I first heard of it on the Dick Van Dyke Show. (See R for Random).

X=X-ray? Xylophone? Who do you think I am--Dr. Suess??

Y=Yawn--which I do too frequently and which could also describe this meme.

Z=Zoos--are they ultimately cruel? Discuss amongst yourselves.

With that--I bid you Adieu.

I vant to be alone

2008-07-11T17:38:00.000-07:00

Okay—I’m having one of those days. I am pissy, cranky, grumpy, disgruntled, irritated, crabby, annoyed, grouchy, testy, cross and peeved. Here it is 2 in the afternoon, and I’ve just finally gotten dressed—and not for lack of trying. I even made it all the way upstairs twice before getting dragged down again for some trivial matter or other. I had been so hoping to get some writing done today. I’m new to the concept of writing regularly—and it’s a habit I want to get into, if not daily, then pretty close to it. No chance. No way. Not today. (Okay—I am writing now, but I’m sitting in a doctor’s waiting room—no kids in sight.)

I am truly awed by the organized folks who are able to get so much done in any given day. I’ve been up since about 6:15 am, and feel as if I’ve gotten nothing done (except reading a bunch of blogs—talk about a time-suck). And somehow, my kids cannot do without me for a nanosecond. Every time I’ve tried to do something NOT involving them today, I have been interrupted, dragged off task or otherwise bugged. Clearly I am doing something wrong, because my kids can’t even wipe their adorable, little asses without my intervention (okay—to be fair, it’s only my 6-year-old who still wants mom to do that dirty work). Even when Dad and/or the housekeeper is there, the refrain is “NO, I want MAMA to do it,” whether “it” is getting a glass of water (which my oldest can do by herself) or checking the time (both kids can tell time—digital and analog), or having me check some invisible scratch on their person. I swear, I think they’d ask me to pick their noses for them if they (I?) didn’t think it was so gross. Dear G-d, how did it come to this? Am I, as I fear, raising spoiled brats? Aaaaarghhhhh!!!! I feel like I’m going crazy.

Things I’ve tried and the results:

Telling the kids I’m working and can’t be disturbed: Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha! I’m not even sure that made it in one ear, much less out the other.

Shutting myself up in my room (after telling the kids I’m working): Fat effing chance—within minutes one or the other is either banging at the door or barging in.

Hiding in the bathroom: Sadly, not even this works, although it has provided me with a whole new perspective on multi-tasking.

(Yes, I know I need to get a working lock on our bathroom door. We have been loathe to do so ever since my 40th birthday, when my son locked himself in my bathroom and flushed a bunch of toys down the toilet, necessitating a call both to the locksmith AND the plumber. It’s funny in retrospect, but at the time, well, let’s just say it was not the most enjoyable birthday I’ve ever had.)

One thing is clear—I need to start setting some boundaries. I suspect my little darlings are in for a rude awakening. I have never “worked” in their short lifetimes, and the work I am doing now, writing, is generally done at home. (My kids seem to understand the concept of Dad working, even if he’s doing so at home, and generally give him a wide berth. Maybe that’s because he has an office he goes to off to in the morning, so that they can conceive of his having some kind of life outside our home. Or maybe it’s just because he’s Uber Grump when he is working.) Thus far, my children have not had any real experience of my putting something other than them first.

And it’s only going to get worse: A friend and I have just decided to try to start a business (which is in itself hilarious—I don’t think there’s a business-savvy molecule in my body. . .). Who knows, by the end of the summer, my son might even have mastered the toilet paper roll all by himself.

Nota Bene: The foregoing was actually written yesterday, but it will come as no surprise to learn that I was unable to finish it then. . .

That's cold, man, cold. . . .

2008-07-05T19:07:00.000-07:00

If you are one of the few people who has read my blog, you'll remember how creative my kids can get with the insults. Hey, how many of you have been called "an artichoke?" That lovely was uttered by my son in a fit of pique. Now, his sister has anted up. The other day, the two were (gasp! shock!) bickering and, voila, she shrieked at my son, "You're an ice cube!" Fits of giggles ensued, of course.

Ah, there's a whole world of ingestible insults out there, just waiting to be used. The possibilities are practically limitless. I can't wait for round three.

Come visit me. . .

2008-06-29T19:16:00.000-07:00

. . .I'll be posting at least twice a month on the LA Mom's Blog, a sister of the Silicon Valley Mom's Blog and similar blogs in other cities. I'm excited. Right now, the site is in "soft launch," that is, there are postings, etc., but the site has not yet had it's official launch. Stay tuned, and keep reading. I think my first piece will be posted tomorrow. Come and visit!

6-Minute Chocolate Cake

2008-06-20T19:42:00.001-07:00

I know posting recipes isn't usually what I do (when I do do it at all), but this one is too good not to share. My kids were clamoring for dessert--a dessert "they" could make. Ideas were bounced around, including making popsicles and making a graham cracker house using Nutella as the mortar. Unfortunately, since we could not find a vital part of the popsicle mold and did not have any graham crackers, those ideas were quickly put to rest. (We pretty much always have Nutella, I am sorry to say).

Then, INSPIRATION! I remembered a quick chocolate cake recipe "we" could make. So quick, in fact, that digging out the recipe actually took longer than mixing the ingredients. This is a particularly good cake because it can be mixed in the pan (fewer dirty dishes!) and is made without dairy or eggs--satisfying at least a couple of dietary restrictions. The ingredients are simple ones that generally are already found around the kitchen.

I don't think the cake needs much garnishment. I tend to eat it plain or sprinkled with a little powdered sugar--which has nothing to do, of course, with my need for instant chocolate-cake gratification. However, for those who have a little more self-control than I do, and want to take the extra time to make the glaze, that part of the recipe is included as well. (Nutella makes a good frosting for this cake, too.) In the interest of full disclosure, I think I should tell you that the 6 minutes in the recipe name refers to the mixing time, not the total time it takes to make and bake the cake.

As a former intellectual property lawyer, I also feel compelled to credit Moosewood Restaurant Cooks at Home for this recipe. Someone from the Moosewood Collective (Mollie Katzen, maybe?), in turn, found it in a House and Garden magazine in 1976.

As for my kids, "we" quickly turned to "I," as they went off to play the Game of Life, leaving me to bake away in Real Life.

So, with no further ado, I give you:

SIX-MINUTE CHOCOLATE CAKE

CAKE:

1 1/2 cups unbleached white flour
1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 cup cold water or brewed coffee
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
2 tablespoons vinegar (Yes, you read correctly--vinegar)

GLAZE:

1/2 pound bittersweet chocolate
3/4 cup hot water, milk or half-and-half
1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

To make the cake, preheat the oven to 375 degrees.

Sift together the flour, cocoa, baking soda, salt, and sugar into an ungreased 8-inch square or 9-inch round baking pan. In a 2-cup measuring cup, measure and mix together the oil, water or coffee, and vanilla. Pour the liquid ingredients into the baking pan and mix the batter with a fork or small whisk. When the batter is smooth, add the vinegar and stir quickly. There will be pale swirls in the batter where the baking soda and vinegar are reacting. Stir just until the vinegar is evenly distributed throughout the batter. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes. Set cake aside to cool, and if you choose to make the glaze, reset the oven for 300 degrees.

For the glaze, melt the chocolate in a small ovenproof bowl or heavy skillet in the oven for about 15 minutes. [I suspect you can use the microwave for this step]. Stir the hot liquid nd the vanilla into the chocolate until smooth. Spoon the glaze over the cooled cake. Refrigerate glazed cake for at least 30 minutes before serving.

Enjoy!